LONG POST: Thanks friends for your constant concern about the state of things in Puna. Its getting better day by day, and weve been able to avoid any more tree damage- and even got to have a few house guests who needed water, showers, laundry, etc. The Aloha in Puna is alive and well! There are still many without water and power however, so the work continues to help As for me, the storm knocked around something in me- Ive been anxious, depressed, prone to panic for no reason and completely unfocused. Yoga teacher training has been put on hold as I try to regroup my thoughts- though Ill continue tp photograph for the group, because photography makes me happy. Its a lost opportunity for me, but hey, a Hurricane will do that sort of thing to disrupt your plans... It wasnt the storm really that caused this, but I woke up one morning and said: VERMONT. Clear as day. What am I doing here in the Pacific, so far from any family, longtime friends, centers of art, jobs, academic institutions???... I feel like time has stopped, and that my life is on hold. And I think I hit my tipping point. Hawaii has been wonderful and above all, complex. After 3 years we finally have really good friends, enough work to barely get by (barely) and making my own work has given me purpose beyond purpose because again- its photography, its the women I love here, its the stories that need to be told about this strange, strange place. Now, a new anxiety- do we stay or do we go? Why does possibly leaving island feel so- FINAL? Can I make it through the Vermont winters? What will it feel like to go from the most diverse place in the US back to one of the whitest? What will we do for work? Will I regret this decision? Will anyone care about my work when Im not living in a complete tropical mystery? How much work can I get done here in the next 10 months? Can I make it another 10 months? Will my island friends start to hate me? What if we change our mind and stay? Will mainland friends hate us? So, thanks for listening folks. Im sitting at home, contemplating my day and the work I need to do, the things Ive been too distracted to finish or start. I really needed to get this all off my chest, and FB is cheaper than therapy... LOL. Now for indulgent baking all day, some yoga, some meditation- and some researching on the Green Mountain State. Basically anything that will keep me from becoming a useless puddle of despair and self doubt is AWESOME, and should be employed to its fullest. LOVE!!!!
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 19:59:58 +0000
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