LOVE LETTERS ............................................... When was the last time you wrote a love letter? No, I don’t mean those headless and tailless ones on Blackberry Chat and instant messengers; those are like pissing in the wind. I am talking about a real love letter written on special stationery, the sort that makes your heart pound against your ribcage, like the ones that set me on fire in my village as a young lad. I don’t know about city boys, but the act of love letter writing taught me more English language than my so called English teacher taught me. Back then in the village, we never saw a telephone not to talk of using one. When young boys know into the world of girls,the pen becomes an arsenal that is used to woo the cupid darts in the tummy of girls. So right from time, the village boy understands the fact that the village girl is a delicate explosive that must be detonated carefully from a safe distance. And the best way around this is a love letter whose crafting and editing is more rigorous than writing a letter of intent to Harvard Business School. Love letter writing was an art taken very seriously. There were really no textbooks for reference at that age and it wasn’t in the school curriculum either. But I was lucky enough to discover my older cousin’s exercise book where he practiced his earlier attempts that had words like “sugar” and “tea” and his much more successful later ones that had a big word like “doxology”! Why a love letter instead of direct approach, you may ask. Well, in the village, we did not have money to still our hearts and steal the heart of girls we fell in love with. There was a certain fear/excitement that was greener than chlorophyll which gripped a young boy’s heart when he saw a beautiful girl he liked. His knees would buckle and oftentimes, he melted like a wax sculpture left too long in the sun. When in this state, his tongue usually cleaved to the roof of his mouth and words beyond errm, errm, errm could no longer be formed by his brain. A good love letter took us three weeks or more to compose, edit and deliver. Everything about the letter was very important, from the salutation to the conclusion and most importantly you had to have a few big words borrowed from Michael West dictionary . . . and a killer nickname: My dearest ever blossoming Magdalene, I hope this letter meets you in good condition of health, if so doxology. I know you are wondering why on a clear blue sky day like today you are receiving this missive from me. Well wonder no more because you are the only flower blooming in the garden of love this afternoon. And in the night you are the only moon that makes the sky bright. I want to use this missive to let you know how much you mean to the life of my existence. If loving you is a crime, I want to be guilty. If loving you is a sin, I refuse to repent. My love for you is as constant as the early morning dew. Until now I have been drinking tea without sugar, but your beauty is sweeter than honey. All I am saying is I want you to be mine forever because I can no longer live without you. Please I hope you consider this humble and simple request because my life will never be the same again if you say no. I anticipate your favorable reply very soon please. Your one, and only Bougainvillea Kobina Ebo. A love letter was never delivered by the writer; that would be in bad form. There was always a loyal friend, a fearless student, a paid-delivery imbecile, a school father or school mother who acted as the postmaster. And this postmaster had to be trustworthy because a love letter improperly delivered could make everything go awry. Unfortunately we no longer write love letters these days — this vital learning class that helped raise future poets has given way to text messages (txt msgs), which is the biggest threat to the English Language as we know it. These days, a contemporary village girl would rather accept a txt msg with recharge card than a well written love letter that can’t boast of ordinary flash credit.
Posted on: Wed, 05 Jun 2013 21:41:45 +0000
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