LOVE Suppose a man loves a woman. When he marries her, there is a 50 percent chance of divorce and a 99.9 percent chance that one spouse will die before the other. The surviving spouse’s sadness will be equal to the happiness they had. This does not mean that the couple should not have been married and that they should not have enjoyed the journey of their time together. However, they should realize that their present happiness will someday be lost. Listen to the story of Duke Ye, told by Liu Xiang of the Han Dynasty: Duke Ye loved dragons. He decorated his house with everything and anything dragon: the curtains were embroidered with dragon patterns, the pillars had dragons carved into them. The real dragon in heaven was touched by his affection and decided to pay Duke Ye a visit. He descended to the duke’s house. His tail coiled around the backyard, and he stuck his head in the window. When Duke Ye saw the real dragon, he was scared out of his mind by the dragon’s size and power. He ran out of his house in great confusion and was not heard from again. Wealth, marriage, and status can be the real dragon. When we have them, they are not what we imagined. We can still work toward them and be successful just for the fun of it, not for the essence we have imagined. We often fail to understand the relationship between cause and effect. The effect is often against our original intention, and the goal is not always reached. The reason we act is for the bliss of the intention and the beauty of the process. The intention is nobler than the result; the process is more beautiful than the goal. As long as we follow nature, we can do nothing and do everything. Anxiety comes from our self-assigned roles as “god.” It is as hard to control our own fortune as it is to control the motion of the universe. Love is attachment; wisdom is detachment. I believe there is plenty of room to maneuver between the two, just as there is between doing everything and doing nothing. To love is to risk not being loved in return, because love is not a trade. To hope and dream is to risk disappointment, because the dream and the nightmare are twin sisters. As Lao Tzu advocated, the two opposite parts should combine and support each other. Risk is necessary, because the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing. By clinging to our socalled security, we are denying life. Everybody loves love, but can they really handle it? Many lovers are like Duke Ye, because they love the illusion of love, not love itself. Love is one of the most beautiful emotions humans can have. Love is two souls joined together to support each other through sorrow, to strengthen each other in difficulties, to share with each other in gladness, to merge into each other in silent memories. Love is not doing; it is being there. Love says to the loved, “Dear one, I’m here to support you, to strengthen you, to share with you, to merge with you.” If you love someone, you want the one you love to be there when you feel happy, or when you see the most beautiful sunset. If your heart can really say, “I wish you were here with me,” you know you love this person, because you want to share the moment with him or her, to be there with him or her. The essence of love is silence or Wu Wei. The worst line for love is, “You are mine.” This is the destroyer of love; the act of owning someone is the opposite of the nonaction of love. In many romantic songs, people compare their lover to the sun or stars. You admire the beauty of the sun and stars, but you do not want to, and cannot, own them. This is the beauty of nonaction, and it should be the beauty of love. The worst proverb for love is, “All is fair in love and war.” War is Wu Bu Wei, doing everything, to conquer your enemies. When love follows the example of war, sound and fury overwhelms serenity and beauty. Conquest and submission become the name of the game. No wonder love and death are the eternal themes of romantic literature. Chapter 22 - Do Nothing, Do Everything an Illustrated New Taoism
Posted on: Mon, 24 Feb 2014 05:56:05 +0000
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