LOVING RITUALS . . . When I was little, I had a long-term relationship with a very loving friend named Buddy. Buddy was my Maltese poodle who taught me one of the most important lessons Ive ever learned about relationships . . the importance of consistency and having loving rituals. Because my parents were divorced, I was a latchkey kid. When I was old enough to stay at home by myself, I would come home from school and have a lot of time alone waiting for my sisters to arrive home, or my Mom to come home from work. During that time, my best bud, Buddy was always there! The two of us shared a lot of wonderful traditions that helped us both feel loved, and we had fun at the same time. Without fail, when I came home each day, I would go to the back door and Buddy would be there to lovingly greet me. Every single day it was the same ritual of him yelping while I tried to get the door unlocked, then wed see each other and connect right on the floor by the back door. In his excitement, his front lips seemingly curled up like he was smiling, and he would then lick me and run around in circles. After our greeting, which also consisted of hugs and kisses, I would then deliver Buddys favorite tradition, which was to have me put peanut butter on the roof of his mouth. I would then watch as he would try to lick it all off for about 5 minutes. We did that same thing almost every day for years! I always knew he would be there and he always knew hed get peanut butter. Even if we had a falling out before I went to school , Buddy would be there when I got home. These traditions brought us closer together and made our relationship feel safer and more predictable. There is a reason a dog is mans best friend -- consistency and ritualistic behavior. There are many traditions or rituals we experience in our lives and each has a distinct and special meaning. For example, we have all experienced the patriotic traditions that surround our flag. When were in a public setting and the flag is presented, we all stand, place our hands over our hearts and sing the national anthem. They become predictable experiences that unite us in pursuit of a common goal . . unification and patriotism. We also may have religious traditions or rituals that happen every time we attend church, as well as traffic rituals like waving to let someone in or to thank them for letting us merge in front of them on the road. Just as it it important to have all of these traditions in our lives, it is equally important to create LOVING RITUALS in our relationships to ensure that we will habitually find time to both pour love consistently for our partner and to ensure your partner sees the love weve been sending. Relationship experts and family researchers have found great importance in creating rituals in relationships. Loving rituals set up consistent times to be loved by a partner, and these become healing moments. Examples of LOVING RITUALS: Hello and goodbye kisses, an afternoon phone call or text message, cuddling on the couch while watching tv, weekly date nights, anniversary trips every year, etc. Loving rituals act as a barometer of where relationships stand. If the ritual is not delivered, the health of the relationships might be in jeopardy. When rituals are delivered consistently, relationships can thrive! I challenge you to find some loving rituals to incorporate into your lives on a regular basis! And share with us some of the rituals you already have! -- From my book, STARVED STUFF
Posted on: Wed, 16 Jul 2014 13:20:58 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015