Laatnag woorde van Rockspiders Opera: PANDORA PLAATJIES, best - TopicsExpress

Laatnag woorde van Rockspiders Opera: PANDORA PLAATJIES, best actress (Spinnekop wat praat:) Dja, when I studied Drama at UCT Oe, I was very good! Né? Dja, ons’t ge-Chekov en ge-Chekov torrie audience fokkof! Oe, wasie dae? Dja, ek was best actress. So the dean of the faculty sent a letter to my father: Saying: I was voted most promising Thespian of the year. Ag, my father dies of no oxygen right next to the post box. He thought they said I was a lesbian. He leave me two chicken & a goat. Dja, my pa was Xhosa, né? I think he put a curse on those two chickens because after 10 years still no egg. My two chickens - Mpo and Mpoyana. I think they New Age Lesbian Chickens. Dja en ek is gemarried en my career is gefok loep ek opgetof soes ‘n city mof ma’ my complexion is op siekverlof al lyk my outfit lekke soes ‘n tjoklitboks loep my wiele af tot oppie sjoks Dja, ek is op en klaar ge-exhaust van allie man se household chores. Robbies, onbeskofte sleg gemors! Dis oor dis yt! Ek soek divorce! Dja, ek lyk net soe nervous oppie surface ma’ dis actually plain die blues Met my Woolworths trollie but fokkol to choose! Dja, ek sê: my liewe lover vannie grênd applause My luislang merrie apple sauce - Dis oor dis yt - ek vat langverlof vir menopause! Djulle moetie my virre pop vattie! Ek is g’n stuk genaaide lappie, skattie! Nei, hie in ons geweste leer ons elke dag ons leste Ons wil niks wiet vannie sônne nie Ma’ optel en aftrek het niks te doen met somme nie! Oe, daai meid is oer! en daai moffie effentsies te fyn Sy suip spirits en hy stiel Chardonnay! Dja, soe ek stoet my trollie. Soek my cover. Ready to meet my next ex-lover! Oe en assie pêrre wen! Assie pêrre wen Is hy ‘n prins! ‘n Turbo fuel-injected prins en koep hy roetie en real curry mince Ma’ ek - die slegte blerrie spiritsmeid deel als weer virrie kinners yt. Dja, ons lief ieder vannie hand narie mond As vannie bank narie tronk! Naandsê bokkie! Dankie skat! Jou ma se moer jou pa se gat! Skooltoe bliksem, kweperlat! Straatkinners is slang se kak! Môre miesie, marrag baas chalk is chalk en kaas is kaas Dja die bome bot, die vrugte vrot : ‘n ou meid is die bangste kjent van God.

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