Last night, I had a dream that I had to report on a six-alligator pile-up on a one-lane road. Six alligators were stacked on top of each other, asleep, which was holding up traffic for miles. I stood in front of the stack of napping gators, with a mic and earpiece, and practiced my cheesy reporter sign-off puns while the camera man set up his equipment. Apparently my field reporter name was Ituna Sitar (pronounced “i-TUNE-a-sitAR”)—and after each of my rehearsed puns, I would tilt my head, smirk, and say, “…from Alligator Alley, this is Ituna Sitar-- back to you, Manny.” Here are as many sign offs/puns I can remember from the dream (that also made any kind of sense): 1. “…no one knows exactly how long this road block will continue, but one thing’s for sure: by the time these commuters make it to their jobs, they’re gonna be pretty SWAMPed with work.” 2. “…Kermit may say it’s not easy BEING green, but folks today agree, it’s not so easy SEEING green, either.” 3. “…but today, for these impatient drivers, the Everglades are more like the ‘this-is-taking-FORever-glades’.” 4. “…while the palm trees around them may bend, these gators don’t appear to be ‘leafing’ anytime soon.” 5. “…looks like these are six alligators you WILL be seeing later.” 6. “…the water nearby may be brackish, but one thing’s pretty CLEAR: we hurriCAN’T get anywhere until these gators decide to Okeecho-BE on their way.” **From Alligator Alley, I’m Ituna Sitar—back to you, Manny.
Posted on: Mon, 07 Oct 2013 01:59:20 +0000
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