Last night, I said goodbye to someone whose place in my life changed many times in 24 years of friendship and distance and affection and disappointment and love and heartache. Every one of those changes changed me. She is the reason I dont let go quickly or with ease; she is the reason I do, in the end, let go lovingly and with grace. She is the reason I dont believe letting go ever marks an end that is and must remain absolute; she is the reason I believe in the inexhaustable possibility of new beginnings. She is the reason I never force such renewal into being; she is the reason I understand that the most intimate of connections demand the greatest patience and the deepest understanding. She taught me to smile the way I smile and to cry the way I cry. She taught me when to do it alone and when to let someone be part of it. For better or for worse - no, for better and for worse - she is the reason I love as I love, with a fierce intensity and with a conscious awareness that passion is instinct but expression a choice, a deliberate act that shapes selfishness into selflessness. She is the reason I am vulnerable and, because of this, she is the reason I am strong. Some of her will remain with me forever. Some of me is irretrievably gone. My celebration is for her, as she is and always will be. My grief is for myself, as I was and will not be again. Goodbye, my imperfect angel. You have changed me once more.
Posted on: Mon, 04 Aug 2014 05:14:10 +0000
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