Last night as I was walking downtown towards back home, a woman I know very well who I havent seen for quite a while, came up, hugged me, and asked me where the hell Ive been with a very concerned look in her in face. Because she has not seen me in meetings for quite a while, she was afraid that I had relapsed. After learning that Ill be going on 8 months clean and sober in November, she looked relieved and told me she had been getting ready to round some people up to go look for me. For me; besides the fact that people were concerned about my well being; this was what the best part of the incident for me was last night: please excuse my language; its the only way I can describe this: Ive had this type of incident occur before, but usually involves me trying to give out some bullshit response on how good Im doing; while trying my very best to hide that Im either high or drunk at the moment. However; it quickly dawned on me how nearly 8 months after I completed the Relapse Prevention course at Janus of Santa Cruz, Ive remained both clean and sober! Then to top it all; Im downtown in a familiar situation, but this time around I have absolutely nothing to fear! I dont have to worry about trying to invent a story, because this time Im fully healthy and I can truly tell the person Im in a good place! However; I do know enough is enough! Ever since my sleep apnea problem began, Ive heavily slacked off on meetings! Though I do feel strong and confident in my sobriety today; from my own experience, I know that I cannot have faith in everlasting sobriety if I keep this up! Therefore; Im trying hard lately to make it to one meeting a day. I really want to reconnect with my morning meeting because that is where my main support has always come from. If I cant use my own willpower alone to get me out out of bed early enough to go to my morning meeting, Ill have to see if I can find some drill Sergent type person to come knocking on my door to pressure me to get up and leave. However; of course for now; Im just of focusing on one day at a time, which is a very helpful tool.
Posted on: Wed, 30 Oct 2013 20:15:48 +0000
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