Last night before bed, I saw a post about Jimmy Kimmels bit where he encourages parents to prank their children and film the reaction for Halloween. I also looked at some of the comments, but didnt watch the video because I knew how it would make me feel. Still, I got depressed, felt angry, and had trouble falling asleep. I woke up this morning still feeling shitty, wondering why I had such a powerful reaction, and if other people felt the same way, when I remembered bits of my childhood. When I was a child, my older brother enjoyed pranking me and doing things I really hated. A particular memory is of an evening when he kept doing something called spider eyes. At one point, I was screaming at him to stop, and the rest of my family joined my brother, laughing at me while doing so. I ran out of the room sobbing and screaming and locked myself in my room. Nobody came to apologize, nobody came to see if I was ok or if they had taken the joke too far. I just sat in my room alone, crying and screaming until I calmed down and decided I wanted to finish my dinner. So here I am, a 28 year old man, on a crowded train traveling to work, tearing up and trying not to cry as I recall this horrible and painful memory where I was consumed with a desperation for the pain to stop, accompanied by a rage that made me want to destroy everything I could. So when people say whats the worst that can happen? Its just a harmless joke! or find it hilarious, these emotions come flooding back out and I want to lash out at them. Im appalled they refuse to or are incapable of empathizing with the pain and anger the child is genuinely experiencing, which is likely leftover anger at my family for not empathizing with me as a child. Im really curious if anyone else shares this reaction, or if is it just leftover scar tissue from childhood brought out by the video I didnt even bother watching. Thoughts?
Posted on: Wed, 06 Nov 2013 00:01:58 +0000
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