Last night ....what did happen last night ? Was it a dream or reality this I am still unsure of but, lets just say I am viewing my son in law Benjamin Suthers in an entirely different light after last night. Should one be struck down with the Florence Nightingale syndrome, the Prince Valiant fairytale dream or maybe even the Prince Charming effect once in a lifetime to me would constitute a seriously happy ending, wait for it, but to be besotted by all three simultaneously is quite the wonderful experience indeed ! When one is sleeping in unfamiliar surroundings we are not at our sharpest, stop what youre thinking right there you lot as I can hear you suggesting Im never at my sharpest 😠 As mentioned previously I have moved into my campervan as a stop gap whilst building my man cave. Itll be easy I reasoned, how hard can it be for glorys sake ? millions of retirees live the camper lifestyle all over the world on a daily basis. Mistake #1, just because people are retired never assume what they do is easy. These people we believe to be helpless are far from it as you will learn as I did last night. After a wonderful, kind & generous offer to park the old camper within the picturesque surroundings of my daughter Justine Suthers & the before mentioned night in shinning armours castle, I happily agreed. Due to previous work commitments time has been a resource unattainable so, little old me & my camper have been holed up out the front as opposed to secured behind the castle walls. Being from a family of happy campers I was absolutely certain all was setup brilliantly & I would survive a few days on the outer grounds of Suthers Castle. Wrong, mistake #2 just because you have done something previously gives you no right to claim post graduate status on the subject, oh was I to learn. Well, all was well & good on nights 1 & 2, we all slept well including Charlie as usual on my feet (good dog that one) until..... Last night Id finished work, made a trip to the lockup retiring more items until my pirates lair is to be unveiled. Menwhile back at Suthers Castle Justine had been meticulously collating a magnificent feast fit for us the royal family which we all sat down & rightfully enjoyed after the queens completion 😊 Time for family activities was then taken by Queen Justine, her less than sprightly father & our young Prince charming - Calix. We enjoyed the royal past times of pinecone lobbing & model airplane flying as the dogs watched merrily on. Due to the passing of time added to the early start the previous & coming day it was decided that it had arrived at a moment during the day known as buggered, cactus or just plain Im going to bed time. Now, this is where the senior citizen campers have it all over us once upon at time happy campers. I went straight to bed promptly falling asleep where a more fastidious camper would have completed their nightly rounds. If hell & damnation had not been thrust upon me at 11.15 pm my true feelings for Prince Charming may never have been realized. To say that the walls, ceiling, clothes, pegs, gas bottle, fishing gear, riding attire & various food items landed in my lap at 7 zillion miles per hour was wrong, it would have been an understatement. My home had literally become the movie The Possideon Adventure & yes folks I was one of the poor passengers delivered to the stern of the ship, shit I thought acting like any super hero should, alas it was just a thought not an action so, shit again I though but ha ha a. , this time understanding I was right.....shit was absolutely everywhere ! I was now at a 45 degree angle covered in lifes belongings.....and a dog. The camper had mysteriously not had its front, nor might I add its rear stabilization arms wound down.....what idiot I thought could have done this campers, dont tell me about campers I was reduced to a blubbering mess at one end of the camper & going nowhere fast, or slow for that matter. Enter Prince Charming - Ben, as quick as a bic lighter into a smokers pocket our hero was out of bed & surveying the wreckage that had become the front yard. Through stunned vision & impaired hearing the shadow of Queen Justine had appeared, all be it sniggering with uncontrolled mirth. Meanwhile I lay stilled by events unparalleled in my happier camper days. PC as we will now tag our super hero Prince Charming & saviour had single handedly righted the ship/camper (I call it home) but, not before Charlie had made an assault on the mountain before him, commonly know as the sink, to a small dog this was a task worth noting as Charles proceeded to scale without sherpa his own personal Everest in 0.5 of a second only to be taken into the hands of a waiting Queen Justine who had telepathically understood Charlies route of escape. Me you ask ? Well actually I dont think I had woken up to be honest. Once PC had corrected the equilibrium of our vessel, he then proceeded to race off into the backyard, find supports, affix them to rear of establishment & head back to his own bed without waking a single neighbour......or me 😉 Anyway anyone care to join me on a trip north 😃
Posted on: Mon, 26 Jan 2015 08:21:26 +0000