Last post for Shabbat =) May you all have a very blessed and holy Shabbat! A Lesson A Day 20 Kislev, 5774 / November 23, 2013 Dedicated as a z’chus for a Refuah Shleima for Mindel bas Pesha SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM Day 80 – Learning from Others’ Mistakes We have seen (Day 11) that it is forbidden to discuss someone’s faults even with people who are aware of these deficiencies, for to focus on a person’s weaknesses is lowly. However, when teaching or offering guidance, one may make use of real-life illustrations of improper behavior in other people and even refer to those people by name, provided that the listeners are already familiar with the behavior of these people. The use of actual situations to which the listener can relate will deliver a message that mere discussion cannot convey. Reference to negativity here is constructive and is not considered lowly. Therefore, it is permissible to make reference to the life-style of a non-observant Jew to emphasize weaknesses in his behavior and its consequences, though his lack of observance is rooted in ignorance. However, one should be careful not to condemn the person. One may not use examples from the past history of a baal teshuva without his permission. Constructive intent is not a license for possible embarrassment. It is also wrong to use examples from the lifestyles of different ethnic groups within the Jewish nation unless it is clear that neither speaker nor listener is unsympathetic towards that group. SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON The Pursuer’s Lot Scripture states: “God always seeks the pursued” (Koheles 3:15). The Midrash comments (Vayikra Rabbah 27:5): R’ Yose ben Nehurai said: The Holy One, Blessed is He, always exacts retribution from the pursuers for the blood of the pursued. R’ Elazar said in the name of R’ Yose ben Zimra: So it is with Temple offerings. God said: The ox is pursued by the lion, the goat by the leopard, the sheep by the wolf; do not bring offerings from the pursuers, but only from the pursued. One must refrain from assisting in a feud, lest Hashem hold him accountable for the hurt caused the other party. Rather than anticipate the glory of triumph when his side emerges victorious, let him instead picture the shame and retribution that may be his lot. One who scrupulously avoids dispute is truly honored by others, as it is written, “It is an honor for a man to refrain from quarreling” (Mishlei 20:3). The Midrash comments (Yalkut HaMechiri, Mishlei 26:14): If personal dignity demands that one refrain from becoming involved in personal feud, then certainly it demands that one avoid becoming entangled in someone else’s feud! Of those who take the opposite path, Scripture states: “Like someone who grabs hold of a dog’s ears is a passerby who becomes involved in a quarrel not his own” (Mishlei 26:17). 1 1 The man who grabs hold of a dog’s ears has only himself to blame for the bite that is sure to come (Rashi).
Posted on: Fri, 22 Nov 2013 10:58:42 +0000
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