Last time home I was at my local TESCO’ store buying a big bag of pedigree chum dog food for my huskies and was in the till queue when a wifie behind me asked if I had a dog.??? What the feck did she think I had? So, pissed off with the stupid question and on impulse I told her that no, I didnt have a dog, I was starting the Pedigree Chum Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but Id lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially the perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Pedigree chum biscuits and simply eat one or two every time you feel peckish. The food is nutritionally complete so it works pretty good and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that in queue was now lugging in on my story.) The wifie was obviously horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb in bridge street to sniff an Irish Setters arse and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Posted on: Wed, 14 May 2014 09:35:37 +0000
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