Late Night Jokes: White-Hot Oscars ________________________________________ The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon • Nominees for the 87th Academy Awards were announced this morning. The nominees called it an honor and a privilege while Meryl Streep called it Thursday morning.” • Actually, there’s a little controversy this year over the fact that the acting nominations are made up entirely of white actors and actresses. Even the people in the J. Crew catalog said, “Yikes!” • Matthew McConaughey took a look at the nominees and said, All white, all white, all white. • Senator Rand Paul reflected on Mitt Romneys potential 2016 campaign and said, “Its sort of what Einstein said, that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result.” When someone told him Einstein didnt actually say that, he said, In the words of Gandhi, My bad. ________________________________________ Conan • Oscar nominations came out today, and this years Oscar nominations are being called the whitest in 19 years. Everybodys white that was nominated. Heres how white it is. I was nominated for best supporting actor. • Many are shocked that The Lego Movie was not nominated for best animated picture. Shocking because when you think about it the academy has a long tradition of honoring plastic people with frozen faces. • The film Selma was snubbed and some people are saying its because of the films historical inaccuracy. However, that theory was dismissed by the actress who played Coretta Scott King — Tara Reid. • Just days after Mitt Romney suggested he might run for president, theres been a backlash. The backlash is led by Jeb Bush, Mike Huckabee, and just to hedge his bets on every issue, Mitt Romney. ________________________________________ The Late Show With David Letterman • Welcome to the Late Show — 21 years in the making. Its like that movie Boyhood without all the positive reviews. • This morning the Academy Award nominations were announced. Meryl Streep once again was nominated. I thought she did a tremendous job as the Olympic wrestler. • The Lego Movie was snubbed. I think thats a good idea. I dont think they want to encourage any motion picture based on a choking hazard. • Rosie Perez, one of the hosts of The View, may be leaving the show. I hope this doesnt screw up the chemistry. ________________________________________ Jimmy Kimmel Live! • Nominees for the Academy Awards were announced this morning. They say this is the whitest Oscars since 1998 which explains why the ceremony this year will be broadcast from inside an Abercrombie and Fitch store. • Some people are complaining about a lack of diversity in this years nominations but I have to say I happen to think that a nominee is like a snowflake. Each one is very different. And theyre all white. • A lot of people are also very upset today that The Lego Movie didnt get nominated. Thats because of all the films under consideration it is the only one that anyone has actually seen. • Boyhood is said to be the heavy favorite to win best picture. The groundbreaking film took 12 years to make but only three years to watch. ________________________________________ Late Night With Seth Meyers • This years Oscar nomination pool is the least diverse collection of nominees since 1998. There are so many white nominees that Fox News agreed to host a debate. • Liam Neeson spoke out this week and said that he believes America has too many guns. And nearly all of them were used by Liam Neeson in Taken 3. • Justin Bieber and Keith Richards reportedly hung out on New Year’s Eve. Wow, I can’t believe a musician that far past his prime was hanging out with Keith Richards. ________________________________________
Posted on: Sat, 17 Jan 2015 05:54:52 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015