Late last year I started a little newsletter entitled with playfulness... -- rooted in my exploration of play over the past 20 years of my life. Heres the latest... Play is the feeling of connection. This what I say when people ask me, “What is play?” Rather than something you do, play is a way of feeling, a way of being. When we feel connected, there is a sense of ease, of delight and joy. As a parent of two nearly all grown up kids, I’ve felt this spark many, many times, often in the simplest of moments — walking down the street with my daughter and sharing in the delight of spying the first Spring Crocus or in making muddy sand castles with my son on Sauvie’s Island or chortling around the dinner table for seemingly no reason at all. And also as a parent, I’ve felt those moments of disconnection too — yelling while trying to get coats and shoes on to get out the door to go to school; the embarrassment and frustration of a middle-of-the-aisle tantrum; the exhaustion at the request of “Just one more story daddy?” When we feel speedy and stressed or exhausted and burnt out — which happens to us all in our modern world — we go in to a protective state in which we either want to just get the task at hand done — “Put on your left shoe!” — or we want to give up and withdraw… When we feel disconnected from the people around us, particularly our kids, it doesn’t feel good to anyone. It’s like the special holiday outing that leaves everyone feeling grumpy. Trying to be happy is very trying. But, it doesn’t have to feel this way. From playing with thousands of kids, I’ve been taught a very important secret — connection can be sought and discovered in any moment. A quick story. For several years, I played with two classrooms of special kids at a local Portland elementary school. I would lead small groups of kids to the gym to play on our maroon Play after Play mats. And yes, we had a lot of fun. Then, when each group was done, we’d put our shoes back on and head back to class. Needless to say, many kids didn’t want to leave the mats. One day while struggling with yet another squirmy foot, it dawned on me that the play didn’t end with the mat. Putting on shoes and walking back to class together was play too. And I could feel that this rested right in the feeling of connection. I began to notice that when I was feeling in a rush (to get back and retrieve the next group to play), the kids would squirm and resist, and when I could ease off and find that connective feeling within me, then shoes found their way on to feet and walking back to class was a joy too. Sounds too good to be true, I know. The possibility of transforming those challenging and painful parenting moments into opportunities for connection and delight. Well, it is possible and well worth exploring. And if Im really honest, I feel it may be the most important thing to explore. Finding the feeling of connection is the greatest nourishment for our relationships. In my upcoming class, Introduction to Play, I’ll be sharing the three secrets of connection and how to apply them in any moment of parenting — from the already delightful, to the tantruming struggles we’re all familiar with. Youll learn practical and reliable ways to come back to what is most essential — finding the joy and love in your relationships. Oh, and one more thing. In this class, you’ll get to play! Yes. Each class will have dedicated play time on the mat. I know, its almost too good to be true! We’ll be learning by doing, and even better we’ll be learning by playing. I look forward to connecting with you. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. Warmly, Marc ps Im offering a class called Introduction to Play - the details are in the link here...
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 23:50:42 +0000
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