Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and youll have to pee. Law of Gravity: Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of Random Numbers: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you dont want to be seen with. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine wont work, IT WILL!!! Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the same ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet, and they leave before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay seated to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk. The Coffee Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee gets cold. Murphys Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Physical Surfaces : The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible IF you dont know what you are talking about. Browns Law of Physical Appearance: If the clothes fit, they are ugly. Olivers Law of Public Speaking: A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET! Wilsons Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it, OR the store will stop selling it! Doctors Law: If you dont feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor and, by the time you get there, you will feel better. Dont make an appointment, and you will stay sick.
Posted on: Wed, 19 Mar 2014 14:17:54 +0000
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