Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes. 1. Lawyer and Engineer A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean when they got to talking. The lawyer mentioned, Im here because my house burned down and everything got destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. Thats quite a coincidence, remarked the engineer. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood. My insurance company, too, paid for everything. There was a brief pause, and then the puzzled lawyer asked, How do you start a flood? 2. Fair and Square Taking his seat in chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. I have been presented by both of you with a bribe, the judge began. Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. You, Attorney Leoni, gave me $15,000. And you, Attorney Campos, gave me $10,000. The judge reached in his pocket a pulled out a check, which he handed to Leoni. Now, then, Im returning $5,000, and we are going to decide this case solely on its merits. 3. Im Innocent! How is it that you cant get a lawyer to defend you? the judge asked the prisoner. Well, yer honor, its like this. As soon as those lawyers found out I didnt steal the money, they wouldnt have anything to do with me. 4. Lawyer on Vacation A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the streets on a quiet Sunday morning, he came upon a large crowd gathered by the side of the road. Going by instinct, the lawyer figured that there was some sort of auto collision. He was eager to get to the injured parties but couldnt get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim. The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 15:41:39 +0000