Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi Grandma a question if they arent prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the witness stand. He approached her and asked, Mrs. Jones, do you know me? She responded, Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. Ive known you since you were a boy, and frankly, youve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think youre a big shot when you havent the brains to realize youll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney? She again replied, Yes, I certainly do. Ive known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. Hes lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He cant build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him. The defence attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench. In a very quiet and low voice he said, If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, Ill send you both to the electric chair.
Posted on: Fri, 22 Nov 2013 20:11:01 +0000
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