Learned helplessness is a two way street. I just wrote a massively passionate rant about how it makes no sense for a class of people to have access to smartphones and then not use them to help themselves. And I linked some of my more aware friends to it, seeking their opinions. But before theyve had a choice to respond... It is also MY problem, and MY sense of entitlement that fueled that rant. *I* have a sense of entitlement about living in a peaceful world, and I spent that entire rant pointing the finger at underprivileged people for not doing more to help themselves. Most of what I said, I stand by. Actually, all of it. I have compassion for the downtrodden, but compassion should not manifest in softening the truth. Empowerment lies in spreading awareness and affirming the power that lies in each and every one of us, DESPITE the harsh realities of the world. So lying about reality does favors for nobody - but it is incredibly cathartic. But again, a lot of the sentiment and tone of that message was rooted in my own entitlement and sense of helplessness. You know what I do to help people in my immediate surroundings on a day to day basis? Not a lot. I often bring an extra dollar or two on my way to the bus stop in the mornings so that, if anyone asks me for money, I can help them out a bit. Beyond that, though...Im very jealous with my time and energy. I sit in my fifth floor apartment, working on music, goofing around on the internet, trying to block out and ignore the world around me, trying to focus on me and what I want and my goals. But I live on the Delmar Divide. I live at the intersection of Delmar and Union, right smack dab on the precipice of one of the most notorious dropoffs in property values in the damn world. I live in a community that is symbolically divided, and I stroll to the bus stop every day, head held high, feeling good about how Im only *slightly* suspicious of every person I see. I remain introverted and quiet. I bottle myself up, afraid of how people will see me, or what their assumptions about me are based on the color of my skin. I do not make an extra effort to reach out. I noticed that THIS morning, when I made a mental note about how softly I said good morning to passers-by compared to how jovially I greet folks that look and dress like I do. *I* have as much responsibility for the problems in this world as any other individual human being does. And I possess talents, skills, and an extroverted energy that, if I could confront and come to terms with my fear of my fellow man, I could be using to make my IMMEDIATE COMMUNITY a better one. One more unified, and friendly, and familiar with each other. Tomorrow, I will be heading out to Ferguson to cook pancake art for their community. Completely free of charge. We will accept donations and immediately forward them to a community outreach program. And I feel, so, goddamn, good about doing this. But it makes me realize. This isnt going to be an isolated event. This isnt some publicity stunt for me. This comes from somewhere real, that old idealist I spent most of this last year trying to kill in cold blood so that I could get where *I* wanted to go. There is beauty and power and love all around all of us, in each and every one of our communities, and there is constant potential for change and growth with every human being you meet. So Im going to keep doing these events. Im going to go down to businesses in my immediate vicinity - theres a barbershop on my morning walk that Im thinking of in particular - and Im going to walk in, and stop being afraid of my racial identity, or how others will perceive me, and Im going to introduce myself and Im going to ask if I can cook free pancakes for people there. And if it works, and makes the world a better place, Im gonna keep doing it for the rest of my life.
Posted on: Fri, 22 Aug 2014 03:37:54 +0000
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