Lesson #1: Do not get in the middle of a dog fight. Well, damn it, sometimes it can’t be helped. Lesson #2: As you go to the rescue (dumb move?) do not fall down, get up, run, fall down, get up and run again unless you’re 17 and sprightly. Lesson #3: Remember the baseball bat next time. Lesson #4: Post signs (hardy har har har) so stray dogs know not to enter the premises. Lesson #5: Expect to be bitten by stray dog, who does not have the sense to know you’re trying to help him. (Well, kicking him might have given him the wrong idea but I was trying to kick him out of the electric fence territory, for his own safety.) Lesson #6: Even skinny stray dogs seem really, really heavy when you’re carrying them uphill, through snow and you’re 61 years old and out of breath and pretty sure you’re about to expire on the spot. Lesson #6: Expect to clean up blood where stray dog has been while waiting for the dog warden to come retrieve him. Lesson #7: Expect to have a total and complete meltdown after all is said and done because you are traumatized, not to mention stoved up, banged up and sore as hell. Lesson #8: Lecture dogs about their behavior and deny them privileges. Lesson #9: Remember where you were bitten. Check the correct leg. Lesson #10: Listen to your friends, your kids and the sheriff’s deputy when they all tell you to get your ass to the doctor’s for a tetanus shot and antibiotics. Lesson #11: Get out the checkbook. Shots and antibiotics aren’t free. Lesson #12: Once again, REMEMBER THE G-D NEW PETERSBURG JIM PEARCE SPECIAL BASEBALL BAT THE NEXT TIME. Ninja Grammy has still got some literal kick in her. I kicked the sh*t out of five, fighting dogs, backed them off and lived to tell the tale. it was a cluster you-know-what and melee. The stray dog was a little bit worse for the wear (like Grammy) but he was in good hands with the dog warden and will be okay. Of course, I may be foaming at the mouth in a few weeks if .... Okay, let’s not even think about that.
Posted on: Thu, 08 Jan 2015 19:36:34 +0000
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