Lessons from life and death~ and hope for today. Along with the loss of her, it seemed that future dreams and the security of old age became faded dreams. It is as if life has transformed from multi-dimensional introspection to a flat line existence most moments. My belief systems feel shattered and my truth challenges me every day to find its meaning in my decisions. I think many of us eventually learn from the pain just to survive another night, or morning, or snowfall ... alone. Yet, in the midst of my dark nights of the soul I have also discovered that loss is becoming the greatest catalyst for change. Yes, Loss is the ending of something precious, but, it is also the birth of love and wisdom that I believe we are all seeking. This loss has prompted me to be in the moment, realize what i truly value in life and connect with who i truly am. Those of us in this tribe are in too much pain to pretend. We lose the energy to play games with people, so we don’t pretend to be something we are not. Some people walk away incapable of sitting in the despair with us yet others arrive; some we would have least expected. We question what life is all about, so we look around with a new set of eyes. I am devouring books of wise counsel. Words that held important definitions in our lives no longer make sense, so we speak less often but in a more meaningful way. Our plan for happiness and security disappears, so we begin to take life in the moment and have no energy to do much more than let life happen and trust the next moments. We are no longer filled with future plans, beliefs of forever .....and so present moments of truth can easily be recognized by the way our body feels, not what we think. Moments of truth become who we are, not just what we fleetingly think. We move from our head to our hearts and begin to fully live our life with purpose and dignity. At lease I am attempting that in my imperfect human way. A few of my lessons of that I offer to others: I stopped fighting or being afraid of my feelings and use them as a valuable part of my learning to live in the moment again with love for myself and a purpose in life. If I don’t let them flow through me, they will return like a tidal wave when I least expect it. And they do, ugh. I dont see many people but those who I do are those who let me be who I am each day, even if I change from hour to hour in my moods and willingness to participate in life. I am ever so thankful for Miguel Gabe Mia and Isabel I get rid of anything in my life that doesn’t make me feel warm and safe. Period. Daily. Because I know how short life really is. the clutter is stifling. I keep a journal, actually several, of what is real to me each day, how I see life continuing around me and the lessons I learn. I have written a book for my children of things I may not always say but they need to hear and know. I ask someone for help (this is the hardest) or sit still asking the spiritual realm for help when I feel overwhelmed and broken. I attempt to accept my feelings, ever changing as simply the way life flows, ever changing. This one is hard. We all fight what we truly feel, we have just become masters at hiding it. I do something physically, like taking a walk, everyday. It is amazing how physical activity can serve as a pain killer. In her honor I remain devoted to teach and in that devotion arrives the humility to go on learning . 💜💙
Posted on: Wed, 07 Jan 2015 18:18:55 +0000
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