Let me tell you a funny story from my previous life. I was at Richards Hallmark store at Valley Mack Plaza and I had a miscreant pointed out to me. So, one fine day he decided to steal some greeting cards. I stopped him and he pulled out a knife and gave me a good slice, but did not get any cards. I felt pretty bad that night, 1986 was a bad year for me. As I sat at home, alone, I decided to fight back. The next time, I would have a little equalizer. I fixed up two special rounds for my smith and Wesson model 19. I got the recipe from the Anarchists Cookbook. Then I decided that would be my last option. I eventually found the name of the slime ball and informed the police, who told me they were very familiar with the perp. He was tried and sentenced to Sac Boys Ranch. Enter the slime balls Mother. One night she walked into the store and axed me why I made up stuff about her Sweet little Baby Donnell. She even said, All he is doing is trying to take care of me. Her sweet baby was collecting protection money from the Round Table Pizza (the manager told me it was cheaper to pay him $40 a week than replace windows), the video store and the sandwich shop. I told Donnells Mother, Lady, I am so sorry for your plight. I will let you in on a secret. I went to court and lied. I have now moved in on his territory and this is MY center. What are you going to do about it? Oh, you should be thanking me. When Channel 3 says, It 10 PM. Do you know where your children are? You will know he is safe at .boys .ranch. Your only concern is he does not come out a sissy, so you may have some Grandchildren. As I spoke to her, I pulled up my Model 19 and just let her see enough of it so she would know I was packing something more than a feather duster, and could not land a brandishing charge. I dont know who this woman called. At 10:30 PM that night, I was home watching the episode of McGuyver I had taped, when my idyll was enter rusted. The phone rings. The person on the other end is my district manager. No hello, straight to the point. Did you go to court and lie about that kid? I said, no and I have six stitches to prove otherwise. I did what I always do, I baited her. She took the bait. Just before the little sleaze ball paroled, I was moved to another store. I had a couple of other bad things happen (attempted robbery) at that store. Of course, I came out on top in both instances. I actually had the manager of the sandwich shop walk up to me and thank me for cleaning up a couple of things.
Posted on: Wed, 03 Dec 2014 04:28:55 +0000
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