Lets classify metal sub genres by lyrical content, mentality, and stereotypes! Heavy; KILL ALL POSERS Black; hi. Were norwegian and like to burn churches and murder guitarists with stone knives. Death; usually lyrics involving anything but death, unless youre a 90s band in which case you cover up your terrible music with even worse cover art. Power; dragons! Warriors! Legends! So far awaaaaay! Thrash; hi this is america and our government sucks Grindcore; KILL ALL THE POLITICIANS AND GET EVERYONE TO AGREE IN THE NEXT TEN SECONDS Deathcore; were like s0 br00tal OOOH LOOK 12 YEAR OLD FAN GIRLS😍 Metalcore; blah blah blah feel bad for me #1stworldproblems Tech-death; something about egypt and rivers and scrolls to resurrect the dead? Symphonic; no one knows what theyre saying due to operatic voices and strong italian accents (yep, looking at you, Rhapsody) Progressive; WE NEED A NEW TIME SIGNATURE MEN MOVE MOVE MOVE SCOUR THE UNIVERSE BUT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES USE 4/4 KILL IT WITH FIRE Speed; we really arent that fast but were from the 80s so..... Nu; hi we wear masks so that no one outside our concerts will tool on our lack of talent Post hardcore; we know we dont belong here with the big kids. None of our vocalists have hit puberty anyway so lets whine about relationships til were famous. Classic; puppets, masters, indians, holy wars, blood rainstorms, where were we going with this again? Groove; We like to do time in jail And Im gonna stop before i piss anyone else off😂
Posted on: Thu, 31 Jul 2014 17:53:41 +0000
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