Letter to the Prime Minister Dear Mr. Cameron, Im planning to move my family and extended family (15) to Pakistan for my health and I would like to ask you to assist me with this. Were planning to simply fly from Britain to Pakistan and well need your help to make a few arrangements. We plan to skip all of the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. Im sure they handle those things in the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your friend, President Asif Ali Zardari, that Im on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following: 1. Free medical care for my entire family. 2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not. 3. All Pakistani Government forms must be printed in English. 4. I want my grandkids to be taught Urdu by English speaking (bi-lingual) teachers. 5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on British culture and history. 6. I want my grandkids to see the British flag on one of the flag poles at their school. 7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and lunch. 8. I will need a local Pakistani drivers licence so I can get easy access to government services. 9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Pakistan, but I dont plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably wont make any special effort to learn local traffic laws or comply with MOT requirements. 10. In case one of the Pakistani police officers does not get the memo from President Zardari to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer. 11. I plan to fly the British flag from my housetop, put British Flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on December 25th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals. 12. I also want a nice job (cash only of course) so I get around Pakistani tax laws and not pay any. A taxi driver would be nice, providing Im not expected to know my way around and can fill my car with Crucifixes and air fresheners. 13. Please have President Zardari tell all of the Pakistani people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy and in case they do, pass some laws making it illegal so I can play the race card and claim compensation. 14. I want to receive free food allowances. 15. Naturally, Ill expect housing benefit to a maximum of £27,500 per year. 16. Ill need income tax credits and child tax credits so that although I wont pay Pakistani taxes, Ill receive money from the Pakistani Government. 17. Please arrange it so that the Pakistan Government pays me £4,500.00 to help me buy a new car. 18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enrol me free into the Pakistan Social Security programme so that Ill get a monthly pension cheque in retirement. I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all of his people who fly to Britain from Pakistan. I am sure that President Zardari wont mind returning the favour if you ask him nicely. Thank you so much for your kind help
Posted on: Sun, 09 Mar 2014 10:56:44 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015