Life Affirmation After Watching a Marx Brothers Comedy In the films conclusion was suicidal Mickey Sachs (Woody Allen) life-affirming, flashbacked monologue told to Holly (Dianne Wiest). He thought back (in voice-over) to when he almost killed himself with a shotgun blast, and then explained how he had found refuge in a movie theatre that was playing Duck Soup (1933) where he experienced a climactic epiphany: One day about a month ago, I really hit bottom. You know, I just felt that in a Godless universe, I didnt want to go on living. Now I happen to own this rifle, which I loaded, believe it or not, and pressed it to my forehead. And I remember thinking, at the time, Im gonna kill myself. Then I thought, what if Im wrong? What if there is a God? I mean, after all, nobody really knows that. But then I thought, no, you know, maybe is not good enough. I want certainty or nothing. And I remember very clearly, the clock was ticking, and I was sitting there frozen with the gun to my head, debating whether to shoot. (The gun went off accidentally, shattering a mirror) All of a sudden, the gun went off. I had been so tense my finger had squeezed the trigger inadvertently. But I was perspiring so much the gun had slid off my forehead and missed me. And suddenly neighbors were, were pounding on the door, and, and I dont know, the whole scene was just pandemonium. And, uh, you know, I-I-I ran to the door, I-I didnt know what to say. You know, I was-I was embarrassed and confused and my-my-my mind was r-r-racing a mile a minute. And I-I just knew one thing. I-I-I had to get out of that house, I had to just get out in the fresh air and-and clear my head. And I remember very clearly, I walked the streets. I walked and I walked. I-I didnt know what was going through my mind. It all seemed so violent and un-unreal to me. And I wandered for a long time on the Upper West Side, you know, and-and it must have been hours. You know, my-my feet hurt, my head was-was pounding, and-and I had to sit down. I went into a movie house. I-I didnt know what was playing or anything. I just, I just needed a moment to gather my thoughts and, and be logical and put the world back into rational perspective. [Marx Brothers film] And I went upstairs to the balcony, and I sat down, and, you know, the movie was a-a-a film that Id seen many times in my life since I was a kid, and-and I always, uh, loved it. And, you know, Im-Im watching these people up on the screen and I started getting hooked on the film, you know. And I started to feel, how can you even think of killing yourself. I mean isnt it so stupid? I mean, l-look at all the people up there on the screen. You know, theyre real funny, and-and what if the worst is true. What if theres no God, and you only go around once and thats it. Well, you know, dont you want to be part of the experience? You know, what the hell, its-its not all a drag. And Im thinkin to myself, geez, I should stop ruining my life - searching for answers Im never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts. And, you know, after, who knows? I mean, you know, maybe there is something. Nobody really knows. I know, I know maybe is a very slim reed to hang your whole life on, but thats the best we have. And then, I started to sit back, and I actually began to enjoy myself. https://youtube/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ftiIPJky_Vs
Posted on: Tue, 30 Sep 2014 06:58:28 +0000