Life is funny... you learn lessons when you need to learn them... some of us learn them at different times in their lives... when the time is right. Here is a story about the power of love and friendship and the belief that helping your fellow man is still an honor and a privilege. Service to others has NOT gone out of style folks. Believe. To my Dad, Edmund Stanley, this one is for you Tangle Toes. Love you ! Danny’s Story I am continually amazed at the sheer power of the Human Spirit. The desire to live can sometimes defy our idea of what is possible and I guess that’s what we come to term as a “miracle”. The interesting thing about “miracles” is that they are much more common and abundant than we realize…until we take a trip inside what makes a miracle. The story I am about to tell you will remind you about the beauty in the service of others, and the power of positive thinking…visualization….inspiration….and love. The story starts about 30 years ago in a small rural community in Ireland. A young man leaves his homeland to explore the world and finds himself in Canada after touring the World, in the rugged northwest. His love of nature and of the outdoors is apparent and he’s spent much of his life in the bush, on a piece of equipment or enjoying the beauty of the land and wildlife. He is a quiet unassuming individual with a twinkle in his eye that warms your heart and a soft melodic voice and I defy you not to strain to listen to. They say still waters run deep…and I believe that. This man has led a somewhat solitary existence, never married and no children. He has a strong circle of friends …….and has lived his life by his own terms, for better or worse. As with every human being, he’s made mistakes. Abused his gifts in one way or another and paid the price. Hard lessons learned. One late September evening, he finds himself at the doors of the emergency room with pain in his chest and an inability to breath. He’d just recovered from double pneumonia a few weeks previous and after being checked over by the doctors, a nurse said to him in a very quiet tone, “You’ve left this way too long Danny”. Tests are run and the verdict is given……pulmonary fibrosis. A scarring of the lungs due to the pneumonia and years spent working in fine silica dust and other types of dust during his lifetime. The days pass….and the suffering continues. There seems to be no resolution….friends come and go as does the Priest, and he settles into the downward spiral that is his existence. Nurses come and go, doctors come and go…..Yet, somehow….this man keeps fighting. The clock on the grey wall in front of him does not seem to move quickly enough…. Nor slow enough…Danny is running out of time. An old friend hears about Danny’s illness and comes to the hospital to see him. They’ve been friends for 20 years….sharing many stories and laughs in front of a campfire, and a deep respect for each other. As he enters the room for the first time and sees Danny’s reality it is shocking. Danny has never been a heavy man, very slight in fact. But what he has become is a mere shadow of his former self. As the man tries to engage in conversation with Danny, Danny finds it too difficult to hold the oxygen mask, breath and exert enough energy to speak. “That’s ok Danny, I will talk and you can listen… and we’ll do just fine” And so it went. Day in and day out… that man would come to his hospital room and cut Danny’s food and feed him, shave and wash his face, cut his nails and provide the most basic needs of a human being. Filling that need of every human being to be heard, touched, supported and be cared for. Now this is not to say that other friends did not come and visit. They did. And they provided friendship and companionship to Danny as well. But the really special thing about the relationship with his old friend was, he had TIME. He had time to be of service to another human being…and expect nothing in return. One day after being up to the hospital, the man said to his family….”You know… I never even changed my own kid’s diapers and here I find myself rubbing lotion on a mans feet and cutting his nails! And you know what? It feels RIGHT. It feel ok and I want to do it!” His wife and daughters smiled to themselves….knowing that what he was experiencing was “service”. He was in service to someone else for nothing in return and it completed him. Danny regained some strength and his appetite was excellent. As everyone knows, hospital food could not be said to be ‘comfort food’…. And the man’s family would cook for Danny his favorites…encouraging him to nourish his body and gain strength. One evening an Irish Stew made it’s way to the dinner table and the sweat was running off Danny’s brow and he commented that it was VERY tasty but just a little too spicy! Every evening when the man was leaving… and they said goodbye… Danny would say…”Good night Edmund and thanks”. He lived in gratitude even when it seemed as though his body had completely turned it’s back on him. He could find gratitude in what was given him. The man started to talk to Danny about the possibility of a transplant. He wasn’t opposed but I suppose he thought it was too late or just a little too “out there” to be a possibility. But the man didn’t leave it be… and one evening one of his daughters mentioned the possibility and asked what he thought… Danny replied with a tone of impatience “Where do you think they would find a set of lungs for me? Kuwait?” I think that spoke volumes to Danny’s belief that it would be a possibility. He didn’t quit…. That man and his wife questioned Danny’s doctor about the possibility and he replied that he didn’t know a lot about transplants but what did they have to lose? And he made the referral. A seedling of hope had been planted. The day came for the appointment in Edmonton and Danny and his friend left in an air ambulance to return that evening. After they met with the doctors, the man called his wife to tell her what happened. “They would like to keep him here and run some tests. It will be a week… I better find some clean clothes!” That seedling of hope had been watered! Those tests took approximately 10 days and after they were complete Danny and his friend had run the gamut of emotion. The doctor told Danny that if he had ONE lung available he’d do surgery that night. That’s how serious things were. Danny was on the transplant list and at a high level of need. They pulled no punches on the Transplant Ward…and shot from the hip. They told the truth. It wasn’t going to be easy and when it was over there would be many that would NOT make it, reinforcing the commitment involved to make the journey. The man continued to support and inspire his friend to the possibilities. They decided to keep him there for the 6 weeks needed to build his strength for surgery, placing a feeding tube in Danny’s stomach for more nourishment and daily physiotherapy to improve muscle mass. Danny would need to train like an athlete to get through what he hoped would come in time. During that time, Danny’s friend did not leave his side. He stayed in housing attached to the hospital that was available to those from out of town requiring treatment to be near his friend. It’s important to know that this man did not have perfect health either. He had suffered a heart attack 25 years earlier and had recently had another, having to retire from his career and each day he looked in the mirror was a great day in his estimation! Every day that he spent away was a day less he had with his family. His family supported his decision and felt that the value in his friendship and commitment to Danny outweighed the loss of time. The training was over and the waiting was to begin. Danny and his friend returned to their hometown and Danny back to the hospital to wait. About 10 days after he returned, the friend’s wife called her daughter to report on how the evening visit had been with Danny. She told her daughter that Danny had admitted that he felt as though he was losing ground quickly. The daughter said, “I bet he’s praying for lungs” and her mother replied, “No, he isn’t because if he prays for lungs, that means somebody else must die and he won’t do that”. They somberly said good bye and the daughter hung up the phone. How hard it must be for him to sit and wait for what may or may not come in time. The organ transplant system is not without huge challenges in Canada and it was highly possible they would not find a match before Danny was too sick to survive the surgery. Not 60 seconds after the phone had gone dead, it rang again and she picked it up to find her mother crying on the other end. “They are coming for Danny TONITE!!!” The daughter jumped in her car and picked her mom up to meet her father at Danny’s side. The two men looked like little children at Christmas! Danny’s eyes were twinkling and he couldn’t wipe the smile from his face. His friend was trying to control his excitement and go through the drills with Danny but Danny was reciting it by memory. “We should have a little bit of money in our wallet’s Edmund….remembering what the transplant team had advised them to do when they got the call. The ambulance came to take Danny to the airport and it they drove out to be with him until the air ambulance came. It was nearing dusk when that plane landed and Danny prepared to say good bye to his friend. When the man got out of the ambulance he was crying and and continued to sob into his hands while that plane lifted into the air. His daughter put her arm around him and asked why he was crying and he replied, “I hope the Lord is with him”. It was heart wrenching to see him. He had cared for his friends for the better part of 9 months, advocating through the health care maze, watching over him, motivating him to keep going and giving him hope when there didn’t seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel. And now he had to ‘let go’ and let the powers that be work their magic. That was a Wednesday nite and early Thursday morning, Danny was in surgery, undergoing a double lung transplant. His friend was to drive out early Saturday morning and hoped that he would be out of surgery and alert enough to see him then. He sat by the phone that day until the call came. Danny was out of surgery and in recovery. It had gone off without a hitch and the surgeon was absolutely thrilled! He broke down again, relief washing over him. When he arrived at Danny’s bedside he was sitting up and although he had breathing tubes and other tubes coming out of him, he was as pink as a baby’s bottom and smiling brightly at his old friend as he came through the door. He described his gratitude to his friend for this gift and emotions were very high for days. Danny continued to do well and within 10 days of surgery he was moved from the Transplant Ward to stay with his friend in outpatients for the 3 months of recovery that was mandatory for every transplant patient. His friend did not leave him then either, although arranged for another old friend to spell him off for 3 weeks after the first month. It was perfect timing and there were new stories to tell and listen to now and Danny was well enough to enjoy it. On September 21st , on year less two days since Danny had walked into the hospital in pulmonary distress, he was released. The feeling was hard to describe for those observing it. To look back only a few months and remember the scenario was almost surreal. There seemed to be no hope for Danny’s recovery. But through the love and support of an old friend came possibilities, and like a coach inspiring the underdog to victory, miracles happened that even surprised the underdog. Last week, Danny and his friend took a final drive together to meet the plane destined for Dublin Ireland and then onto his home town. Danny will live with his brother and spend time among his family in his homeland. None of this would have been possible if not for the love and compassion of a friend.
Posted on: Tue, 22 Jul 2014 03:37:46 +0000
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