Lindsay Fadgen Padilla...I know youre probably sleeping, but ya know that guy we were talking about? Let me preface this by inserting that not only did the Machiavellian puppeteer uncharacteristically leave the White House Chief of Staff position less than a year into the administration, but left to become Mayor of CHICAGO...GASP...because the uber-squeaky-clean, scandal-free, almost-half-a-lifetime-Mayor Richard Daley (place tongue firmly in cheek) finally decided to not run for re-election after occupying the job from 1989. Gee, I wonder what deep thoughts propelled him toward retirement? Especially since there was so little crime and corruption in Chicago during his watch. Then, in a surprise move and COLOSSAL COINCIDENCE, Mayor Daleys brother, William Daley, shockingly ends up the new White House Chief of Staff. Dang...how awesome a switcheroo was that? There must be a secret tunnel! Then, in another bizarre turn of events, Rahm Emanuel becomes Mayor of Chicago, and lo and behold, Obamas reelection campaign ends up being run out of CHICAGO, OF ALL PLACES, instead of Washington as is traditional for modern incumbents. OMG...it was so perfect they couldnt have PLANNED it better, the little dumplings! Incidentally, I have no more information regarding the number and location of states Americas Mississippi River runs through, nor can I pinpoint the whereabouts of Michigan, Wisconsin, or some of those other Midwest states on a map, but I can spell every single one if you ask me to. You may not get through the rest of this trivial information-filled post, but hey, we all have different abilities. I may not like the guy, but you gotta give credit where credit is due. If I needed a lawyer, Id want him. 1) Who Doesn’t Love a Good Fart Joke – Well this one was on Rahm or maybe Charlie. A little while back Rahm Emanuel appeared on the Charlie Rose Show to discuses the focus of the Obama Administration when all of a sudden he just couldn’t hold it in anymore. 2) A Norm MacDonald Classic – Not exactly the same but I’ve you’ve ever had the privilege of watching the movie Dirty Work you’ll understand the title. Rahm is known for his panache for treating donors right. He sends them cheesecakes from Eli’s, the famous Chicago bakery. But the one pollster who notoriously ticked off Emanuel received a 2 1/2 foot decomposing fish in the mail — ripe, stinky, and to the point. 3) Reverse Psychology – Rahm’s foray into fundraising started in Chicago while campaigning for Mayor Richard Daley’s reelection, when Emanuel raised a record number of donations. His sales pitch was simple enough: He’d tell contributors he found their offers so low it was embarrassing and then hang up on them. Mortified, the donors were shamed into calling back and giving more. 4) You’re Not a Man if you have Ten Fingers – When he was a senior in high school, he sliced his finger while working at Arby’s. But instead of seeking medical attention, he decided to celebrate prom night by swimming in Lake Michigan. The bone and blood infection that resulted was so severe it practically killed him. Scrappy and determined, even at death’s door with a fever of 106 degrees, he pulled through, only losing part of his finger. 5) Tony Blair, Who? – Never a mincer of words, Emanuel didn’t couch his meaning when he offered Tony Blair counsel just before the then British prime minister appeared with President Clinton during the Monica Lewinsky scandal: “This is important. Don’t —- it up.” 6) What’s wrong with a little Knife Play at the Dinner Table – The most infamous Rahmbo story of them all is the one that begins with the dinner the night after Bill Clinton was elected in 1992. Among those present at the dinner table was ABC News anchor George Stephanopoulos, who watched while an overwrought and clearly exhausted Emanuel began ranting at a long list of Clinton “enemies.” As he shouted each name, he stabbed the table with his steak knife: “Nat Landow! Dead! Cliff Jackson! Dead!” Apparently, others joined in. 7) Not the only Game in Town – Brother, Ari Emanuel is a super agent. As of December 4, 2009, he was purportedly representing Martin Scorsese, Larry David, Michael Moore, Matt Damon, and Mark Wahlberg. Ari’s special relationship with his clients coupled with his stature in the industry has lead to various homages and parodies over the years, including Ari Gold on the hit HBO show Entourage. 8) The Man can Dance – Rahm was encouraged to take ballet lessons as a boy, and he excelled at it so much, he eventually won a scholarship to the Joffrey Ballet. He turned it down to attend Sarah Lawrence College. 9) Who Doesn’t Like a Wiseass - He’s quick with a zinger. Example: On the Clinton Days: “Back then, stimulus and package had a whole different meaning.” “I’ve spent more alone time with Bill than Hillary.” On Fred Thompson: “He had an interesting take on No Child Left Behind. He married one.” 10) Credited for Clinton’s Victory – Rahm convinced Bill Clinton to put off campaigning in New Hampshire to raise funds instead. It was a strategy credited with winning Clinton the election.
Posted on: Thu, 30 Jan 2014 05:15:38 +0000
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