Listen up all you haters! I have not made the best decisions at all, When it comes to parenting... If there is a wrong way to doing it Ive done it- but, I was not given a instruction manual! Im 24 years old and pretty much been winging this with no direction... finding out all to well what not to do! But that dont mean Im a bad mother! People you think you know me because you saw me in the paper, you heard I was w a man who beat me, just bc you caught wind I was in rehab. Yea blah blah. Let me tell you whats real! Yea I was a hopeless Dope Fein junkie! Praying my next hit was my last! Yea I was that mother that didnt think how my son would feel if I died! Believing he was better off w out me... He shows me everyday oh how wrong I was... I was always physically there for my child doing all I knew- which was only the necessary- now that I have been at my weakest and he still said mommy I love you- I now know how to be there for my son- love him unconditionally without a fog- let me also tell you my mistakes are not something to be proud of but they have made me the mother I am today!!! I have been threw hell and back the past year since I chose to go to rehab bc I knew myself well enough I couldnt clean my act up on the streets! Yes 3 months away from Kendrick w limited visitation knowing how he felt inside bc I felt the same as a child! Realizing I have done exactly what I promised to never do as a parent. But let me tell you haters something- im bout tired of all this messy talk about me being a bad mother- come at me with it not the world! You cant knock me to my face bc you watched me ride from my knees when everyone said I couldnt! It has not been an easy road but Kendrick is with me every day, and Im learning to be the mother I was set out to Be! Kendrick loves me And I love him more than life itself! Even clean I have not done 100% right by him! Show me the perfect mother and I will kiss her ass!! But let me tell you Kenny B knows mommy is here to stay He has no reason to fear having to drive away and leave me, he knows what I felt when I couldnt be there everynight-And he knows that mommy works her ass off to provide, it isnt easy trying to make a living for a kid when you feel like you walking in place, but I still havent gave up! I promised Kendrick the day I came home, that no matter how hard life got I was always gone be there and we was always gone be okay! And day by day that has held true- but on another note here is some more real life stuff- yes my child has started to call my boyfriend daddy here and there!!! Just in case you hating mf catch wind of that! Imma go ahead and let you know Kendrick felt that bond and Kendrick said it! Kendrick deserves a daddy! And I deserve a man to love Kendrick- so Let me go ahead and give yall something else to talk about! But let me smash your negativity... Pete is the best thing that could have ever happened to me & kendrick! Just when I thought no one couldn love me and no one would accept kendrick- Pete Pistol showed me how to feel again! Showed me not to be afraid and has helped me w Kendrick more than he will ever know! Pete loves him more than any little punk Ive been w could had ever image. And im so grateful Pete came into our lives- I do what I can for my son, I do the best I can- and I guarantee my child is happy! I use to could Say that and only hope it were true, but these days I know for sure my son is happy! My son lives a good life and not bc I was a perfect mother but bc I have made the mistakes I have and come out a stronger woman! Hes my little ride or die!!! Hes my reason my purpose and my motivation! I usually dont goOff on fb and get out of Hand or up in my feelings-But Im tired of people being confused! Being a mother is very hard! A single mother! A young single mother! I have been beaten, broken, and defeated... Life is no joke, but I tell you Kendrick is has been the greatest blessing of my life! I would not have life without him! I would not trade him for the world, nor would I change any battle or fight Ive overcome! Bc it has given me the pure understanding of being a mother... Having to make decisions based on the well being of someone else, learning to not be Afraid to live- Kendrick is my life! And die those of you that cant c that and want to talk shit I hope one day your half has happy as I am! I know some of you will still continue to talk thats okay! Bc I know Kendrick is living a life he deserves!
Posted on: Fri, 28 Nov 2014 03:34:34 +0000
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