Living in the northwestern portion of Alaska, I am constantly attacked by angry Russians. It makes life difficult and puts a strain on my kids lives. My wife is always in fear. My dog wont go outside to pee. My cat attacks anything that moves (not that it is unusual of a cat). Anyways, my son, who is becoming quite the spy, somehow found out about the Russians plans to destroy our house. Even with all the firepower I could proudly use with my second amendment rights, there was no way I could defend myself. So I bought my son this shirt. He wore it with him on the day they were going to attack. But to our great demise, he spilled egg yolk all over it at breakfast. The third narwhal was barely visible due to all the egg yolk. There was no way this shirt could be of any use to us, I thought. So quickly my wife washed the shirt and hung it out to dry. We prayed for the attack to wait until after the shirt was dry and could defend my son, but the answer was not what we had hoped for. Hundreds of bloodthirsty Russians started swarming towards our house. But as they got nearer, the Narwhals took command of the situation. Emerging from the print on the T-shirt, they flew around, spearing our enemies and eliminating them forever. I would recommend this shirt, especially if you live near Russia.
Posted on: Tue, 02 Sep 2014 07:05:30 +0000
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