Lo de ingles :) IAIN GRANT Maggot And Misogyny The jarwal stared at her malevolently, saliva dripping from its gaping jaws, making its fearsome teeth glisten in the harsh winter sunlight. Whats a jarwal? I dont know. I havent though about it. Something fierce and nasty. A huge maggot-like beastie with a ferocious temper and huge teeth. A bit like in Alien, only more like a maggot. Its a bit science fiction isnt it? You dont even like science fiction. I know. Im just trying to convey an atmosphere of terror and anger in the light of recent events. I suppose the jarwal is a representation of my anger. Well try another approach. Dont make up words or fierce animals. No jarwals. Be direct. He was angry. Thats good. You cant get more direct than that. ... What? Why are we waiting? What was he angry about? I dont know. Youre writing the story. Make something up. Draw on your own experiences. He was angry. He hated her. And not just her. He hated everybody. He wanted to go to the cupboard in the hall, get the axe he kept there, walk out into the street and inflict bloody, messy carnage on anybody he found passing by. You are angry, arent you? I cant help feeling though, that if youre going to make this an interesting story, youre going to have to try to focus your anger just a tad more. The jarwal bit her head off at the neck and he watched with grim satisfaction as her corpse fell to the floor juddering and spurting blood in a crimson fountain. Forget the jarwal. No-one knows what a jarwal is. Anyway, this is way too bloody and violent. Its distasteful and youll repel most of your readers before youve even started. Besides, how are you going to top that opening? Your story will need to end with a climax. How are you going to top a beheading and a juddering corpse spurting blood in a crimson fountain? Start small and work your way up to the big stuff, thats my advice. And keep it real. Draw on your experiences, on what you see around you. < 2 > It was nine oclock in the evening. I know I said small, but not quite that small. Small but interesting. Youve only got small there. Still, it can be quite rewarding to draw on your immediate circumstances. Work it up. It is nine oclock. Tell us a bit more. It was nine oclock on a crisp and chill winter evening. Thats better, but you still need a bit more detail. Youve got to get your reader or listener hooked from the word go. The phrase the word go had always appalled him. I didnt mean literally the word go. I know. I was just messing about. Im finding this very difficult. Get on with it. Apply yourself. We need a small but interesting beginning. We need focused anger, we need detail. You were on the right lines with that nine oclock on a crisp and chill winter evening business. You just need to work it up a bit, thats all. It was nine oclock on a crisp and chill winter evening, the sort of evening when the natural instinct is to nestle by the fire, the sort of evening thats so cold that those poor souls who are out in it are loth to breathe in for fear of the damage the air will do to their lungs. Good image. A bit Victorian, perhaps. Too many words, but a good image. Try and cut it down a bit. It was cold - the sort of cold that hurts when you breathe in, that you feel in your lungs and makes the skin of your face what? What? What does it make your face? I dont know. Its your story. < 3 > But it was your idea for me to write it. Youre so angry, you said. Why not try and write a story, you said. Use those feelings creatively, you said. Youve got a real way with words, you said. Ill help, you said. OK. Sting and smart like its been slapped. What? Makes the skin of your face tingle and smart like its been slapped. Thats good. Thats very good. Weve got bitter cold, which I like, and weve got a suggestion of violence, which I like a lot. Very indicative of my mood. Maybe we need some sharp teeth and a giant maggot. No, we dont. In any case Im not so sure now. Why? I thought it was going quite well. Its not bad, but there are no people in it. Weve only had the one sentence. We can put a person or two in the next one. OK. Give it a go. It was cold - the sort of cold that hurts when you breathe in, that you feel in your lungs and makes the skin of your face tingle and smart like its just been slapped. Next sentence: She was very cold. That wont do at all, will it? We know its cold. Youve told us that already. We need to be moving forward. Tell us something else. Make something up. There was a maggot in her ear. A giant maggot? No, just a maggot. Ordinary, household variety. In her ear. Actually, I rather like that. I like that a lot. I like that much more than I liked all that cold stuff. < 4 > I thought you liked all that cold stuff? I did. Im just saying that I like this maggot thing even more. Its really strong. Its a great image. I think you should forget all about the cold stuff for a while and concentrate on the maggot. What happened next? It crawled around a bit. Thats a bit of a disappointment, if you dont mind me saying so. There was a maggot in her ear was such a strong first line, but you ruin it completely by saying it crawled around a bit. You need to amplify your first image, or explain it. Why was there a maggot in her ear? I dont know. Dont try to think about it. Dont try to work it out. Feel the answer. Because she left me. Yes, I know she did. In real life. But youll still need to explain why the maggot is there in the story. There was a maggot in her ear. It was there because she left me just doesnt work. Or does it? Maybe it does. Its different. Startling. Perhaps even intriguing. Lets go with it for a little while. If its not working we can come back later and take it out. Continue. There was a maggot in her ear. It was there because she left me. It had been there for two weeks. You know, I really like this. Its slightly distasteful, but youre building up a great image. Already I want to know why the maggot is there, what its doing, and I want to know about her. Gillian, I presume. What did she think about the maggot in her ear? She didnt mind. In full. There was a maggot in her ear. It was there because she left me. It had been there for two weeks but she didnt mind. I dont know. < 5 > What now? Well, its a bit misogynistic, isnt it? How do you mean? Well, the reason she didnt mind the maggot is because shes dead. Thats the only reason someone wouldnt mind a maggot in her ear. In fact, now that I think about it, its probably the only reason there would be a maggot in someones ear in the first place. Maybe youre right. So I cant use it, can I? I cant be misogynistic. Why not? Because its misogynistic. Is it misogynistic because youve got a dead woman in it? Yes, I suppose so. What if it isnt? Eh? What if it isnt misogynistic, just because youve got a dead woman at the beginning. What if youre just stating a matter of fact, like saying it was cold. What if youre just reporting events? You mean, what if I think of it as morally neutral? Precisely. Wont work. Oh? Why not? Because shell think its misogynistic and I wont be able to get her back. Do you want her back? Yes. Even though youre so angry with her? Yes. You chump. I know. Shes a cow. She left you standing at the airport the day you were supposed to be flying off to Corfu for a romantic holiday. She took all your stuff, she left you stranded with the plane tickets hoping that youd get on the plane anyway and go on your own so that shed be able to use your flat for shagging this Graham character in the meantime, and you would have gone had you not accidentally met me at the departure desk. And you want her back? < 6 > Yes. Double chump. Shes bad news. If shes thinking about you at all shes probably laughing her socks off because she still thinks youre in Corfu. Forget about her. Write your story. Get it out of your system. There was a maggot in her ear. It What now? Its not working. I cant do it. I love her. Write about that then. He loved her. Even though she was the cruellest, meanest, vilest person hed ever known. Even though shed betrayed him, humiliated him, even though he wanted her dead. He loved her. And thats not misogynistic? Its true though. But whats the difference between this and the maggot? Take it from me, the maggots better. Go with the maggot. Ill try. Good. There was a maggot in her ear. It was there because she left him. It had been there for two weeks but she didnt mind. She was certainly not complaining. I think this is better. Why? Because I changed the me to a him. Theres a bit of distance now. Its not me doing the violence. See? Its just a question of sticking with it once youre on to a good idea. It was a question of distance. Yes, you said. No, this is the story. Oh, I see. There was a maggot in her ear. It was there because she left him. It had been there for two weeks but she didnt mind. She was certainly not complaining. It was a question of distance - the distance between her head and her heart. It had always been too big, but now it was more than three miles. The one was on a shelf in his bedroom, and the other under a metric tonne of coal in her mothers cellar. Hed always hated her mother. < 7 > I can see why you were worried about this being misogynistic. I think I might be able to tell this story without condoning violence towards women. No-one in their right mind would condone violence towards women. Absolutely. Its a bit risky though. Youre going to have to make sure that the thrust of this story isnt saying if she leaves you, put her in her place. Or, as in this case, places. Well, quite. I see what you mean. Its difficult. Maybe the problem is the maggot. The maggot in her ear? Yes. The maggot in her ear is connoting violence from, as you would say, the word go. Maybe you should change direction and make it plain that theres no violence involved right from the word start. Good idea. Shall we get rid of the maggot? No, the maggots good. Keep the maggot for now. OK. How to make plain shes not dead? I know ... The maggot in her ear itched like torture but she couldnt scratch it because Because what? Im not sure. Because she had her hands tied behind her back, I suppose. Hmm. Its not working, is it? If anything, this is worse than the head in the coal cellar. Youre right. Its the maggot thats the problem. Its a good image, but it implies violence. Forget the maggot. Hang on a minute. Ive had an idea. < 8 > What? There was a maggot in his ear. Shed put it there when shed left him. That does seem somehow more acceptable, doesnt it? Yes. I guess the answer is to turn ones rage against oneself. Do yourself damage, you mean? A way of coping with your feelings of rejection and humiliation and inadequacy, your utter insignificance? I might not have put it quite like that, but yes. Its an intriguing thought, isnt it? I didnt feel at all comfortable expressing hostility towards her, even after everything shes done to me, but I feel quite comfortable expressing hostility towards myself. Maybe thats because deep down Im a really nice guy. Or maybe its a reflection of the way I really feel. More angry with me than with her. For being a chump. You may be right. You are a chump. Youre a nice guy too, and its OK to feel angry with yourself. Let that hostility out. The jarwal in his head was screaming to get out. He wanted it to bust out the front of his face, eat his whole body, rend him limb from limb and toss the severed remains of his body to the four winds of that bleak and barren place. And you feel quite comfortable with this? Yes, I suppose so. You dont think you might be taking the self-hatred thing just a little too far? I dont know. Am I? Well Im beginning to get a little concerned about it, I must admit. I think you need to calm down a little. Maybe youre right. Its just that Im so angry. I want to feel hurt. I deserve it. Im a chump. < 9 > Yes, you are, but the answer is not imagining giant maggots bursting out the front of your face. Its disgusting, and its not altogether healthy. People will think youre crazy. I think the answer is for you to feel some real pain. Are you going to hit me again? No. Im suggesting a mixture of pleasure and pain. I think we should both do ourselves some real damage. Ill keep you company. You mean ...? Precisely. They were going to the pub. They felt like getting completely bladdered. Thats more like it. They were going to get obliterated. Wrecked. This story telling business was too difficult. He was too angry. Maybe he would feel calmer in the cold light of morning, especially if he woke up with a headache and nausea? Maybe he would feel better if he felt worse in the morning. It was entirely possible. Right now, though, he needed a sedative and he needed it bad. He knew just the place to get it. The Bow Bar? If they met the jarwal on the way there, he would kick it in the nuts. No he wouldnt. Forget the bloody jarwal. He was angry, but he was trying to calm down. He needed to stay calm to write his story. Violence wouldnt help. Besides, the jarwal was probably female. His friend was right. If he met the jarwal tonight, he would ignore it. Precisely. Well done. He thanked his friend and said Come on then, lets go. He got his coat. They were going to get smashed. It was cold out but it was going to be good night, he could feel it in his bones. They had demons to exorcise and a broken heart to mend. They had a jarwal to ignore. < 10 > They had a what? Nothing. Exactly. You can get the first round
Posted on: Fri, 07 Mar 2014 03:46:25 +0000
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