Looking back at where you have been, what you learned, and then looking forward to use it where you are headed. Sometimes the things we do have a way of coming back around again. With different things or different people but still you can see the similarities. I have found myself at that spot in the road that is taking me back to years ago. Thinking of someone, who was very special to me and taught me about patience and understanding. I had that very important roll as care giver to a woman that dealt with more than one should. My Grandma Fisher had a nasty disease called MS. It triggers your nerve endings to be overactive with impulse and then scars them until you loose the communication to your muscles. These impulses are not the kind like butterflies in your stomach; they are painful and last for days at times. With every bout it takes a little more of your mobility until eventual paralysis of your organs both inside and out. However, it can’t take your feelings and your soul, or at least it did not take hers. My very little grandma Fisher taught me the price of a candy bar, a dollar and a love note. She would always tell me as I handle her frail body and big heart with care, “Justine, you should be a nurse”. I always told her “Grandma, I could not do for just someone what I do for you. I do this because I Love you.” The hours spent with her perfect nails scratching my back and telling me stories of the farm and the trips to town. I wish I would have paid more attention to the stories but the trance of that perfect back scratch takes your brain and turns it to mush. It was the kind of attention that only she could give. It seems like every person has a favorite TV program… hers was Wheel of Fortune. I developed a love for the challenge of guessing the phrase and dreaming what I would do with the prize. She was right there with me trying to stay one step ahead of the grandkids, she was more interested in getting it before us, not the person on TV. For this, every Wednesday, at my bedroom door or at the bottom of my stairs was some of the best candy bars money could buy, a dollar and a love note all rolled up and precisely placed in my wicker pig. Most times the note was simple but direct, “I Love You, Grandma Fisher”. Sometimes, I would let it accumulate and others I would jump at the chance to sit down in the visitor chair because the door was open to her sitting room. That sweet thank you would spark another moment and the next one, another. Sometimes we would just sit and watch the game shows, Family Feud and the Price is Right were a couple more that often took over the conversation… I miss her. The many years that I aided in her care taught me a lot about giving and receiving. It taught me a respect for a person’s space that I don’t think you can get until you have filled this roll. I am hoping that the simple but important things that I learned to make daily things easier will come back to me as I now find myself back in this roll. I am sure that there will be moments in front of the TV that will now include westerns and wrestling. Elvis movies and card games will be seen and played a lot. I just hope that I still have the patience and understanding that I had back then. I hope that I can remember to sit down and watch and then listen and learn. There will be a time when those moments will help someone else I care about. With every movement there is a purpose. It is our goal to seek and carry it out.
Posted on: Fri, 12 Sep 2014 17:44:26 +0000
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