Lord thank you so much for taking all this hate from me Ive been praying for three days and u finally showed up. I asked u to save me and u promised u wouldnt give me more than I can handle and u would take this hate from me and u did... I was so scared I was going to lose it and kill these four ppl bc I thought if I kill one kill all four. I dont want to hate I dont want to take someone from their family and take myself from mine.. Youve blessed me beyond what I need and youve saved my life too many times to count I owe u the rest of my life and owed it to u way before this just for letting me breathe. I heard u calling for me and felt u and turned my back on u over and over and Ive heard u tell me Im here to do something important thats why youve not took me even tho idk what it is.. I dont know why u love me so much but I know u do and when I stopped holding your hand u still kept holding mine.. I love you and Im tired of fighting myself bc i know what I should be doing and I wouldnt.. Im not worthy of u loving me bc I can hear u all the time calling for me for years and I ignored u bc I thought doing me was what I wanted, doing me has brought me heartache n pain.. I dont want to hurt anymore I dont want to hate I dont want to fight the Demonds that were inside of me I cant anymore its eating me alive, Im weak without u I cant do anything without you.. Ive heard u tell me Im here to do something that has to b done even tho I dont know what it is so I want to follow where ever u tell me to go and whatever u tell me to do... You always stayed with me even tho I left u I just love u so much.. I cry when I think about all u went thru when u packed the cross to b crucified so that me and my family and every soul could live with you eternally and feel no pain and no sorrow.. You loved me that much. I think about how hard that must have been and how you watched your mommy cry for u. Ive always known youre my savior I just didnt want to listen to u. I hear you now and I love hearing u and I want to listen, Im so grateful u never gave up on me even tho I turned my back to u so many times.. I love hearing ur sweet voice and feeling youre precious touch.. Ive always loved you Jesus but I know u said if I love u then ill follow u and everything worldly is of satan and everything I feel right now is real and its u.. I dont know why I thought itd b so hard to give up all these worldly things that hurt me but I did and all along Ive known u were the only thing Ive needed. Thank you for helping me forgive and giving me peace that Ive not had in so long.. Youve blessed me beyond what Ive needed and Im so ashamed I kept turning my back on u.. Youve been there when no one else could. Ive almost lost my mind fighting all these Demonds inside of me Im too weak but u can.. Thank you for giving me my family so that I knew your name and knew you when I was a child. Im just so grateful for you bc you showed up tonight and youve kept me from doing something awful and youre carrying all these burdens that I couldnt carry anymore. At the end of time all your ppl will try to go home and they are trying right now before Israel is destroyed youll come back and I just want to be with u when u come back to get your people and youve told me youre coming soon and I know you are.. I want to b ready and for the rest of my time here I want to hear everything u have to tell me and follow it and have the peace I feel right now.. I forgive them and I forgive myself.. Thank you for the love youve given me so that I can give it to someone else.. Thank you for all the trials and hard times Ive had bc u were doing it all for a purpose u knew Inside of me was dying and Id come to u.. You knew u had to put me on my knees so Id call out for u and quit running from u. When we wrecked I said God please make this car stop flipping before it breaks Brantleys Neck and u stopped it right then & he didnt have a scratch on him even tho it busted the back window completely out and none of the back was crushed just the front and when they got him out and I seen the car and seen him I knew u had your hand on him even tho that death angel was there u kept me and him. Ive watched all the miracles youve done in front of me and seen how youve saved me or my kids time and time again and I love you so much for it.. I dont know why you love me so much but I know you do and I dont want to run from u anymore. When youre calling for me Im here listening. Please dont ever stop holding my hand and let me keep my family for a long time bc Ive missed out on so much with them.. I cant repay u ever but I can let u live in me and let u work thru me and I will. U know my heart obviously. Cant praise u enough for everything youve done in my life, thank u for putting me on my knees..
Posted on: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 02:56:20 +0000
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