Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. - James A. Baldwin For the last few years Ive lived behind a mask. Fronting what I thought other people wanted in me. While I did that I lived very self destructively. I thought the whole time that I was moving forward in life, but in reality I had started myself on a path that didnt have anywhere to move to. I froze myself at the same point in time through my behavior. It was easy to do because I didnt have to face anyone that I was hurting, taking advantage of, or just flat out stepping on to get to where I needed to be to continue doing what I thought I needed. I also felt that I was surrounding myself with people who I cared about. I did and still do care for a lot of these people but the person they cared for was the mask. I chose to alienate myself. The mask I chose to wear didnt destroy the relationships I thought I had, it took them with it when the mask came off. Now I hope to forge new relationships with people, both from the past and in the future. Im thankful for a few people who either saw past the mask and stayed close or the people who saw who I was after the mask came off and continue to be part of my life. Now I begin the task of finding who I am without the mask. Separating who the mask made me think I was and who I am and need to grow to be. Finding ways to fix the flaws in myself that the mask covered. Dayna, you give me the courage to keep the mask off and I love you so much for that. You are the person I confide in when I am weak and youre the person I want to share my progress and successes with. When I hit bottom you were the first first person to pick me back up and face me in the right direction. I have to have the courage to take the steps, but youre my guiding light and the drive that makes me want to let the mask go. I love you because you love beyond the mask. I couldnt ask for anyone so perfect to be by my side. The mask is a lie Ive lived behind. Now Im stepping out and putting the mask behind me.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Jul 2014 07:30:22 +0000
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