MAMS PHRASES One thing is, for sure, that we have all had Mams, Mas, or Mums. Obviously, we would not be knocking about without them! I do not want to rant on, about irritating cards the further North you have to go in Britain to search for a proper one, which just says Happy Birthday, Mam. Or have a good Mas Day, We dont really say Mum up in our remote lands. That is a totally different subject. No. I just want to quote a few phrases from my own Mam, who passed away at the grand old age of 90. And I suspect so many people can remember such comments, or still hear them! From their Mams. I have to write these phrases in Durham Geordie dialect as such, but I will try to temper it down, a bit. So here we go. Just some of them from one, just one, Mam, who came out with some belters. Of course, simply this small selection made you think, in all kinds of ways!! HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE, GETTING ME TEETH OUT. Well, I used to think. Just a minute. Thought you might have mentioned your wedding day, some great family occasion, or possibly, the birth of one of your offspring. Na. Definitely, the new dentures went down as the big and most joyful day of her life. Gettin aal her teeth out. WHY DO YOU WASTE ALL YOUR MONEY ON THAT FOOTBALL TEAM, THEY WILL NEVER WIN NOWT. Now this was a familiar phrase, which was far from helpful, as the team I follow never win nowt. But you dont want to hear it repeated year after year. And reminding you that you are wasting cash you canna afford really. YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN MARRIED Always a belter, stated by my Mam, mainly to me, but not exclusively. This can undermine the institution of marriage itself, cast self-doubt on the recipient of such advice, and also make that person wonder what was meant by that repeated remark. I ALWAYS WANTED A DAUGHTER, BUT JUST HAD SONS. A very encouraging phrase from a Mam who had three sons, and nee daughters. This, potentially, could cause a kind of post-traumatic impact on one of the sons. The main implication seemed to be that sons were not worth having. THIRTY POUND AM PAYING TO DIE One of her great phrases, and one that you could grasp your head around. Mam used to pay up regularly for her final exit from County Durham coalfield land, but resented the fact that it cost insurance money to mek sure the departure passed in style. IT IS LIKE AN IRISH PARLIAMENT IN HERE. SO SHUT YA GOBS, I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING. Aye, this one was slightly ironic, in the sense that when she was on form, neebody could get a word in. And the statement issued, in a very authoritarian style, meant that ivvrybody else had to shut up. YOU NEED SOME MEAT, MAN. I TOLD YA THAT RASTAFARIAN FOOD IS NEE GOOD FOR YOU This was directed at me, personally, only me. She thought aal that Rastafarian food, aal that grass eating and things was nee good for lads, or indeed lasses. To be honest, I agreed with her, and still do, but any attempt to stress that it was vegetarian, man, or mam, not rastafarian, seemed to fall on deaf ears. So, just to one last more. EEE, THIS LOT DINNA KNOW WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT. I WORKED IN A TOFFEE FACTORY AT 13 AND HAD TO PEDAL TO WORK 3 MILES AWAY. Now that one meant a lot, and I understood it from a canny early age. Had to leave school, bright as she was. Next stop, a chemical works, and having helped to raise her brothers and sisters in the inter-war years, into WW2. The mind boggles at that one, and still does. Just a few phrases from a Durham Mam.........................I stress, Just a Few! Am sure some of you will recognise them..........................Brian Hall......
Posted on: Wed, 01 Oct 2014 07:58:04 +0000
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