MAN WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED ANIMAL CRUELTY. Warning: Graphic ** This is a joke because it has been such a heavy week. No dogs or Ivans were harmed in the making of this post. BREAKING NEWS: This man, Ivan Morgan, 55, of St. Johns, just attempted to do the following cruel thing to the Shi Tzus pictured here (Charlotte) and several other small dogs. One small grey cat also was involved. You see those sad faces? Those are the faces of hungry little dogs, and one evil man. On January 16th, 2015, Ivan made a Friday night bedtime yummy snack for his wife consisting of fresh guacamole, toast, and veggies. Upon serving it to the exhausted woman he said in what some might think was a harsh tone I spent THIRTY minutes making it, DONT feed it to the dogs. Its for YOU. How anyone could try to deny a small, old blonde dog who makes Ewok noises her bedtime snack, is beyond me. Ivan then reportedly proceeded to go upstairs to change, leaving his wife and the dogs but several anxious minutes - all the while keeping watch - to share (as was their custom) a bedtime snack before daddy came back down. They knew hed start screaming if he saw his guacamole being put on toast and veggies and fed to happy tongues. Mr. Morgan was last seen wearing plaid bottom pyjamas and a grey nightshirt trying to watch a little t.v. and get some much-needed peace and quiet. If you spot him, it is safe to approach as long as you have a glass of whiskey in your outstretched hand, and a box of water crackers in the other. He may, however, attempt to kill you afterward with ten back-to-back stories about provincial politics - BEWARE.
Posted on: Sat, 17 Jan 2015 02:53:33 +0000
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