MAZOE VERSUS GAMATOX – THE POLITICS OF STUPID Comrades, we are really scraping the bottom of the barrel. I know you think we got through that barrel in 2008. Fair enough. Well this is a new barrel. An even shabbier one. Grace Mugabe’s entry into politics and ZANU (PF)’s disintegrating factionalism has taken us to a new low. We are living through a period of nonsensical political slogans. A time where saying ‘Forward with Orange Juice’ and ‘Down with Pesticides’ elicits cheers from the bussed-in masses. I mean I would completely understand this if this was a rally of primary school children taken on an unwanted school trip to a nearby farm. But no this is top level Zimbabwean politics with Grace Mugabe in the blue corner and Joyce Mujuru in the red corner. To make matters worse, Oppah Muchinguri decided to get involved in the product placement slanging match and added ‘Cremora’ to the mix. “Others had said Muchinguri has ‘Cremora’ all over her body” said the straight-talking Oppah recently “but no, it is Amai Grace who has the Cremora”. Thanks Oppah, because if we weren’t confused enough trying to work out how orange juice and insecticide would solve our economic problems we now have coffee creamer to the rescue. So we’re now in a sorry state of affairs where our politics sounds more like someone’s forgotten shopping list than anything else. Our current political language even makes old ZANU (PF) jingles comparing Tony Blair to a Blair toilet sound like intellectual masterpieces. I mean back in the day at least there was some ideological jousting between Bob’s exhausted nationalism and Morgan’s so-called Social Democratic values. But lets look at the bright side. We are breaking records again in Zimbabwe. We recently won a record for the fastest PHD in history. And now we have the first political rallies without any mention of any economic policies whatsoever. Who needs policies anyway? They’re so 1980. The recent tour of the country by Grace, the rampant factionalism and the new political symbolism do raise some important questions though. Is buying fruit juice now a political act? 50% Real Oranges, 50% Pure Factionalism. And is this whole factional war actually just corporate-sponsored product placement to revive the waning fortunes of certain coffee creamers and insignificant insecticides? I wouldn’t mind seeing how the shares in Gamatox Pvt Ltd are doing at the moment. Either way I will try and remain neutral in this conflict. In the spirit of Zimbabwean politics I have started my own faction. Forward with Ceres Juice! Down with Stoney Ginger Beer! SOURCE;ComradeFatso, on his blog, find him on FB.
Posted on: Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:02:13 +0000
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