MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. – Matthew Bromis, A 51-year-old Minneapolis man is suing his parents and his doctor after receiving news Wednesday that his diagnosis, over 32 years ago, as a Republican, was wrong. “It started in 1980,” said Bromis. “My doctor, who was a friend of my parents’, came over for dinner. They started talking about Reagan. I had just turned 18 and was about to vote for the first time. My parents and Dr. Sullivan remembered Reagan from his acting days, but I didn’t. To me, he just seemed sort of like a nice, grandfatherly type, but some of the things I heard about him, like his ‘Welfare Queen’ speech seemed kind of mean. I said something about it and my parents and Dr. Sullivan jumped all over me. I was a Republican, they said. It was in my DNA. Well, who was I to question a genetic affliction, especially in front of a doctor? I assumed it was like my brown hair, green eyes and diabetes. There wasn’t anything I could do about it.” “Then on Wednesday, I started talking to a friend,” continued Bromis, “he also had a strong family history of Republicanism, but he was a Democrat. It made no sense to me at all. He told me, though, that diagnostic tools weren’t very accurate and that there were a lot of people who were told they were Republicans but were actually very thoughtful and compassionate people. On the other hand, there were a lot of selfish, narrow jerks who happened to vote Democratic.” 1208908_590954494280072_2078447112_n “I guess the signs were there,” Bromis went on. “I don’t think poor people are bad or stupid. I really don’t care if gay people marry. I’ve smoked some weed in my life. I think that health care, education, food and shelter are a human right. I also think it’s wrong that the vast majority of the nation’s wealth is in the hands of the top 1% of the population and that they are the ones who make all the laws. It was clear that I wasn’t a Republican. The first thing I did was change my voter registration, but it’s unknown how much damage had been done by that time. I married a woman who was also diagnosed with genetic Republicanism and we had three children who all believe themselves to be Republicans. They say that each person influences nine other people who each influence nine people, and so on and so on. Could it be that I’m responsible for electing Michele Bachmann and even George W. Bush? I’ve also spent most of my life on a constant drive for money. I hate my job. I’m a VP for Cargill, which is owned by the Koch Brothers. If I hadn’t thought myself a Republican, I might not be making as much money, but I probably would have been happier and maybe I wouldn’t be divorced now. Perhaps I wouldn’t have glaucoma either. Eating healthy, organic foods with lots of vegetables always seemed to be a hippie thing. Minnesotans, especially Republican Minnesotans, love to eat our foods on sticks. We also love lots of sugars and fats. Sure, I always took my insulin, but after a while, my diabetes took hold.” “I’m not asking for a lot of money from my parents and Dr. Sullivan,” he added, “but I want to send a message with this lawsuit. I believe my life would have been much better if it weren’t for the misdiagnosis more than 30 years ago. I can’t do much about my own life at this point, but maybe I can prevent this kind of thing from happening in the future.” Dr. Sullivan and Bromis’ parents declined to comment.
Posted on: Thu, 12 Sep 2013 10:12:00 +0000
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