MONDAY MORNING MEDITATION: Point and Kill: Three Simple Lessons of Success in Three Real Life Stories I am handing over to you every place you set foot, as I promised Moses. ~Joshua 1:3, NET Bible ... For my non-Nigerian readers, youd be as lost as I was the very first time someone mentioned point and kill in a nearby conversation. In these days of terror, that must be frightening! Well, not until I was told about the innovative barbecue spots in Lagos. When you walk in, you are ushered toward a large basin containing dozens of live fish. Then, you point at the fish you want. Before your presence, the poor fish is slaughtered, cleaned, spiced and prepared for you while you wait. Even though it might sound gruesome to us animal lovers, personal achievement is very much a point and kill affair. Follow me… ... I grew up with a pretty neighborhood girl - let me call her, Orie. She had only primary school education. Shes almost a granny now; she got married while I was still a student, but we remain childhood friends. She liked me very much and would come around the house, in those days, each time I returned from school, to register her interest. She would put on her best clothes, rub pankate (I think it might correctly have been pan cake powder, I dont know, but thats what the village women called it in those days) and come to the house to woo and greet. Actually, I must confess: I was a hotcake of a guy - tall, dark and handsome! Ladies used to fall off their bicycles, and a few might have fallen into the swimming pool, gazing at me! Fortunately, none was ever hurt in the process. Anyway, I couldnt have married Orie, but we still tease each other each time I travel to the village and we reminisce on those ancient moments. Orie, I would begin, see your life? You refused to marry me! Why, Orie, why! ... Flattered, her beautiful eyes would glitter as she breaks into a belly laugh and fires back, Ogbo, see your life? You refused to propose to me! Why, Ogbo, why? Weve gone through that loop countless times. Each time, it gets more hilarious. I dont know if this meets you in a good mood but success is like a beautiful young virgin, an Orie, ready for marriage. And stranger than fiction, to borrow the worn cliché, thousands of people wait for success to propose to them! Lesson One: If you want success, propose! Success wont propose to you; you propose to it. You think you are entitled (I hate that Nigerian civil service word!) to the good things of life? And that they should be delivered to you as you cross your legs and drink zobo and watch Nollywood Glamour Girls Part 2 in your dingy sitting room? No, sir. Youve got to propose. Youve got to point and kill! ... You think you will make a worthwhile living by hunting for handouts and free lunch every where? A policeman waved me down along the expressway. When he peered into my boot and saw my books, he instantly started soliciting for free copies - not that he would read the books. I said, No, officer, it cost time and money to write. I paid editors. I also paid to have them printed abroad. And I paid to have them shipped to Nigeria. If you need it, pay for it! He looked at me like I was nuts, and said, Oga, carry your wahala dey go! Which was exactly what I did. The path to success and personal achievement is not subsidized. Learn to pay! ... Theres something about proposing a toast. During the wedding feast, a groomsman is requested to propose a toast. After captivating reminiscences about his friend and bride, he proposes the toast to their happiness in marriage. You can, and should, propose your own toast! Every place the sole of your foot shall touch is yours according to the divine promise. The corollary is that every place the sole of your foot has not touched shall NOT be yours. Youve got to get up and work your feet of imagination. = Let me tell you another crazy story. You wont believe this… or maybe you should, because it did happen. I actually met a man who hired another man to propose to a girl on his behalf! Predictably, the girl said a capital NO. What I dont know is whether the girl ended up marrying the hired proposer because it is a universal law that he who proposes gets the girl. I have met a woman too many who told me that the man she really wanted to marry never mustered the courage to open his mouth and propose. So, she wound up with a second class lower degree. Remember this: He who proposes gets the girl. So, heres Lesson Two: If you want to succeed, propose personally! Be courageous! Success is such a personal thing. It doesnt like contractors and middle men. No one is going to read that book into your head. No one is going to write that professional exam for you. Even if you hire a mercenary to write your exam, your success is fake. Even if you end up paying for a Miracle Exam Center, the success is not real. Someone may write your WAEC or UME for you but no one can write the exam of life for you. No one can write the exam of personal success for you. ... Far back as the 80s when I went to the university, people were already paying others to write their course exams! Someone approached me and offered what was a mouth-watering amount of money for a student in those days to write a course he had carried over. Of course, I refused. Many students do not write their own exams. This is why many have degrees and certificates but no life. Many people are out of school but they still have carry-over courses of life. = Theres one more proposing story and Im done. Back in the day, a brother made a list of sisters he would propose to. If I remember correctly, they were eight in number. He started from the first sister and got an instant no. No problem, he had seven more to go. He checked off the first and headed for the second girl. That, also, was a no. He checked off and went for the next. Believe me, all eight said no. ... If you were a psychologist, it wont be hard for you to figure out that this guy had a certain kind of neurosis. But since youre not a psychologist, heres Lesson Three: Success demands clarity and commitment. The eight girls had sensed the lack of clarity in the man and shunned him. Funny enough, some of them were friends. One said, You wont believe it! Brother so-and-so proposed to me! Its a lie, said the other girl, he proposed to me last week, too! ... Know what you want and go for it. In my maritography (Sorry, I just coined that one - marital biography), I proposed three times, a couple of years apart, to three beautiful women. Each was a yes because I shot sharp and clear! I couldnt be lying because those three lovely women are reading this :) Theyre all happily married, though; one of them, to me. Why I ended up with one and not the three is a story for another book but suffice it to say that I didnt break anyones heart, though one or two may have broken mine. Ill soon get an electrocardiogram to confirm that, though. ... Let me show you how to achieve clarity of purpose; I use this exercise for my one-on-one coaching clients. Get a blank sheet of paper, or a fresh page in your journal. On top of the page write, I know I am Successful When ------ Then, fill in the blanks with as many elements as possible that would describe success for you. Here are some of mine for example: - I know I am successful when my children have taken 100% responsibility for their results. - I know I am successful when 80% of my income is completely residual. - I know I am successful when I read a minimum of two hours each day. - I know I am successful when I have banished all forms of fear and doubt from my mind. - I know I am successful each time I can look a temptress in the face and say, Get thee behind me, Satan! :) - I know I am successful when I contribute to someone elses success. Create your clarity today. I dont want you to go proposing to phantoms and fantasies. Clarity helps me deal with adversity. Because I know exactly where I am going, I can take anything that circumstances throw at me with confidence. I love you. Have a great week! Be clear! Be healthy, wealthy and wise!
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 08:27:27 +0000
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