MULTIPLE CHOICE NASCAR by Angel Del Villar My strategy for keeping multiple choice tests from becoming painstakingly boring was pretending that I was the trackside announcer at a 4 or 5 car Nascar race. Say the first two answers were Bs. “B rushes out to an early lead.” Say midway through there were considerably more Bs and Ds than anything else. “Well folks it’s a two car race headed into the stretch.” “D with a bit of acceleration but it appears to be too little, too late.” This commentary took place after every answer. All in my head of course. And so it came to be that much like an avid Nascar fan is well aware that Jeff Gordon wins a lot more often than whoever else drives Nascar who doesn’t win as much as Jeff Gordon, I was well aware when I heard the adage “when in doubt, pick B,” that it was a crock and in reality C was a much more decorated driver. One day in 6th or 7th grade the homeroom teacher, who I think was also the English teacher, walks in and announces that today we’re going to be spending class taking a special diagnostic test. It wasn’t going to count for anything, but it was being given in classes all over Queens and supposedly the results would help somebody somewhere ascertain something. The test was administered, along with Scantron sheets and pencils. There were 50 questions.Multiple Choice Nascar fanatic that I was, I promptly filled in a row of C’s from top to bottom and put my head down to take a nap. About a month later the teacher walks in (I forget her name but I feel like it started with a C. It may have had 6 letters in it, also including an O. She was heavy set with short curly blond hair cut in a style that a man might have), anyway she walks in and announces that she has some great news. “Remember that special test that we took last month? The one that was taken all over Queens? Well one of our students received one of the highest scores in the entire borough!” I wondered who it was. “I have with me a special certificate from the district supervisor or district whatever to present to . . . Angel Del Villar!” Angel Del Villar? I had gotten 27 answers right. From what Ms. Co_n__ told me, every student in Queens that had answered 20 or more questions correctly was given a certificate, but I, as correct answerer of 27 questions, had earned particular esteem that didn’t really count for anything. “You know me Ms. Co__n_, I always give it my all.” I think her name might have had a G in it too.
Posted on: Mon, 15 Dec 2014 04:31:07 +0000
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