MY CAPTAIN YOU ACTED ON YOUR NATURAL ATTRACTION TO BLACK WOMEN RATHER THAN SUPPRESSING IT WITH ME--- You should confront who you are n get some help with that because the real issue is not whether you have a black wife or a white wife but the issue is are you gonna keep living a life whereby you are gonna hurt other people wrongly who have done nothing at all wrong because you do not live right in yourself; a poem/commentary by ELK (all rights reserved) ================================= One of the things I like about Indiana is that I have generally been left alone because even if I was desired the person was able to accept in themself that they would not try to handle things to they could work out for me too I am a good person, a good woman, a really good human being too I deserve to be treated right and well and never treated funny because of someone elses internal problems that were thrust on me because they were lying to me and themselves and basically misusing me I think one of the reasons I feel you deserve to be sued my captain is that you knowingly and intentionally did a lot of wrong to me and others but you never wanted to take responsibility and say this is who I am You always want to make it like someone else is the problem And well your former best friend kicked you out and I imagine never wants to see or talk with you again after how you lied to him But you are not out here saying bad things about him or trying to make him wrong, but rather than apologizing to me for your internal issues I had to be a victim of you instead chose to lie to me and say you never brandished a knife and threatened to cut me This man acknowledged who he is and I think you have to first acknowledge you are a white man who is attracted naturally to black women so you can apologize And well you should not have married who you did without going to counseling and working that out in yourself because you married to run away from who you really are rather than making a choice to live one way or the other And you also do not want to face the damage you have done living against who you really are and being dishonest with me when we met about who you really are because Sister Annette figured out we were talking about each other because we both are soulmates and we knew it from the start because you were what I was looking for and I was what you had been looking for But you never stopped to talk to me about your internal issues as a white man attracted and in love with a black woman who socially wants to project as some kinda pure white man knowing that is not who you are on the inside I refused to go along with your game my captain because I am a good person and I have many friends who married and have kids with persons of a different race and they have stayed married so I saw no reason for your behavior really but you wanted to keep lying to yourself and others and wanted me who is black to pay the price for your internal problems which I refused to do But because I love you as my soulmate there was no easy anything for me because it is not like someone can turn off their heart to their soulmate because that is the nature of that sorta relationship But I am sorta hardwired to not let me be knowingly misused in some ways as my parents have drilled that into me I was put in a horrible position by you I did the best that I could do ========== I link to this article because this pastor at least had that struggle before he went out and married someone and he was honest with who he married You lied to me about this part of you to get us involved Then you went out and married someone new trying to suppress who you really are because you did not want to get counseling like Sister Annette strongly suggested so you could get right in yourself and not inflict pain on others because you were trying to live against who you really are and instead live to an image that is not who you are on the inside =========== My captain--- you did not follow your heart You ran away from your heart which is me trying to live to a certain image as a white man and to try to keep yourself from having to face how you felt about me I find it scary that you went out and got engaged to you new wife and moved in with her just 2 days after you last spoke with Sister Annette and you said again that you love me and we are soulmates who belong together but you could not get past my race so you were gonna try to find me in a white body and you did marry a white body that is similar to me But the truth is you are screwed up in your soul I know this because any decent person would have apologized to me long ago for what they did wrong to me, especially pulling out the knife and threatening to cut me because who they really are came out that they had been lying about for many years So you trapped yourself in a marriage to try to manage your natural self But to be fair to all you should get some counseling and figure out who you really are and stop living a lie and you should apologize to me =========== Even though you are straight, this is an issue that a lot of gay people have had to deal with Many have married straights who do not know who they are with then they struggle with the desire to be who they really are and to stop hiding that One of the most screwed up guys I ever met and sadly I did go out with him a few times and also this same thing applies to the Army paratrooper I dated on -off for a year as both of them were married to white women who were really lesbians and who had used to cover that up as they strived to appear straight to the world til they could not live that lie anymore and left these guys and decided to be with women In your case your issue is the race of the woman and not their romantic partner preference, but by not dealing with that inside yourself you have hurt me, your former best friend and his daughter and will probably end up hurting your new wife and her family as well Some of the most screwed up people who mess up others are people who live dishonest to themselves then drag others into that who have done nothing at all wrong and have no idea at all about the struggle that is going on I had no idea that you were a white guy attracted to black women who wanted to publicly seem to be white and into white women then secretly have a black woman in secret or on the side I was offered a real relationship by you from the start and you never said anything at all about being a secret but that you wanted us to stay together and keep seeing each other and you were gonna make that happen in spite of your merchant marine schedule Then you wanted to hold me and kiss me more I told people the next day that I had found what I was looking for because it was true and as you told Sister Annette--- we both knew ======================= But if you are gonna live against who you are then you should have been honest with me and even your new wife IF you cannot apologize to me for what you did wrong, then you are clearly still messed up in your soul trying to repress and deny who you are I urge you to get counseling or Sister Annette may be able to refer you to someone since she does lay counseling and knows many who are counselors as she does have a degree in counseling so she knows what she is doing What matters is that you deal with who you really are on the inside and come to knowing and reasoned choices that do not wrongly or blindly hurt others like I was hurt I do not want you to hurt or damage anyone else or violently threaten someone because you do not want to face who you really are which is in conflict with the white image you are seeking to portray that is not really who you are ========================= I have seen articles like this and well this man chose the life of a cleric and decided to conform for his own personal reasons but at least he is being honest about that with himself and others rather than hurting people and lying to them and misleading them which is what you did to me my captain That is what I hope you will learn and that is why I believe you deserve to be sued You mismanaged yourself to the detriment of others then when things came out you were not a standup man who spoke the truth about yourself--- you chose to lie and make things up and tried to cover things up and you tried to lie on me rather than standup and be honest about things being your fault entirely ...because you lived lies and you told lies to a lot of people, especially me and your former best friend and his daughter, then those lies all came crashing down and you could not face that or handle it and flipped out violently instead because you did not want to face who you really are and your actions ================= Again you should confront who you are get some help with that because the real issue is not whether you have a black wife or a white wife but the issue is are you gonna keep living a life whereby you are gonna hurt other people wrongly who have done nothing at all wrong because you do not live right in yourself, then try to always pin the blame on someone else for your wrongs where really a standup man would take all the blame on himself, apologize to those who he wrongly hurt, and live right in himself knowing he is imperfect and struggles You have not done that my captain in the way that you should If you had, I would not have to sue you for an apology and to better ensure you do not lie on me or what happened If you were right, you would have apologized to me a long time ago and treated me with dignity and never asked me to be a secret because as you told Sister Annette I did nothing at all wrong I was a victim of your lies and your flipping out violently and you do not want to face that has done damage that does not instantly go away
Posted on: Mon, 05 Jan 2015 00:43:24 +0000
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