MY DAY AT THE HOSPITAL OR THE INVISIBLE AND THE SUPREME. A sort of blog, true story.... There are those who try to be nice. A Herculean task against the overwhelming mass of disgruntled, apathetic, down-right rude cadre of Public Health clerical staff. I put on my best face and plan to ignore, ignore, ignore. Take out my I pad and read, read, read. A quick recheck to the clinic desk was greeted with a sneer from a worker turned ogre. Ah tell she is 12 oclock to come back. Find a seat and wait.(Mind you clinic is 1pm and I went for 10 am.) My only defense against this blatant disrespect, is my innate sense of superiority (today). Also of course the knowledge that they wield the real power (big fish, small pond). My re appearance at 12 noon according to my phone, was another conscious attempt at belittling. Total blankness. Did I not speak to them three times already?No recognition on any of their faces, I smile, still nothing. Wondering if my recurring dream that Im invincible has finally caught up with me, I steadfastly hold on to my smile... Smile, smile, smile.... At last a quick half grin from the tall girl, and a nod indicating I can go in. The struggle is real. Attempting to negotiate with the woman in cream about what Dr. I wanted to see and why he did not see me last week proved that. In slow, simple language, woman in Cream who took my blood pressure addresses me -- the child (another dream becoming reality) -- logically she explained: As long as you are in the clinic you should have seen Dr. Why did you not see Dr.? I seriously thought for a moment that there was one super overarching supreme being called Dr. Really that is how it sounds DOCTOR (GOD)... Ok ok reality check. I did not see THE doctor I came to see. I said with a little angst. Woman in blue, with a little more empathy... Why not? I explained I got a letter that said come for 1 pm, and I did, never realizing 1 pm actually meant 10 am. So now public health operates on the reverse of Trini time, so strict punctuality is actually tardiness. Woman in Cream, now in a condescending tone: Once you in clinic you should know that. (Is there a clinic rules or guidelines booklet I missed?) I think to myself Im way prettier than she is, a totally irrelevant, superficial but rather elevating thought.... Prettier, prettier, prettier... Winning smile gone now, I boldly retort, with my fine self: Last week was my first week, I saw him before privately... Because I could not see him I saw a Dr (or should I say DOCTOR (GOD), who kept asking me what to do?How can we fix this? What medicine should you take? ( I guess he was just a doctor...lower case), and put a note in my file that I should see the particular Dr. I had the appointment with. So would I get to see THE doctor I came to see this time? Cream No 1. Next patient please sit. Note, there is only one chair and Im sitting in it, did not even realize she had invited next patient in. Next patient watches me bad eye, ever so anxious to do his blood pressure, and wait, wait, wait.... Woman in blue: DOCTOR looks at the file and choose the patient. The patient does not choose the DOCTOR. Of course, who does patient think she is? A person? (But seriously do they really believe this sacrosanct DOCTOR shit? Or is this the health sector jargon?) Maybe I was right and DOCTOR was a supreme being, who would suddenly enter in a magic balloon or something, because no DOCTOR could be seen anywhere close. Panic set in gosh what should I do? I had never encountered a supreme being before, at least I thought so. The closest I had come was Lara and Machel. My husband has angelic qualities, but he is not a DOCTOR, just a mere mortal. So I wait, in the antechamber of heaven, or the new world, or to be reincarnated or whatever. No communication, no Dr. Supreme. Just weary staring faces. Tired older folk, teary-eyed women, and someone whispering that he was diagnosed in prison, to which the Woman in khaki said loudly in jail?. I sit writing, writing, writing. I cry a little, Im helpless, I cant quarrel, I need their help...help...help. Ok. The devil exists. I hear someone call my name.... I look up, Im no. 3 on the list. Unbelievable! Its the substitute Dr ( what should we do?) from last week. Substitute Dr. I have some bad news for you Me: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Substitute Dr. Your Dr. (A sliver of joy that he said YOUR, then back to anguish), would not be here for the next month. Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Substitute Dr. So what should we do? ( last week rewind) Me:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Substitute Dr. I just wanted to tell you that Me: very feeble... noooo Substitute Dr. Ill see you next......... I run to the exit, which is locked, call my husband, cry silently, pace, tell the angry voices in my head to shush.... All the while still invisible as lady in white passes me, man in guard uniform almost knocked me over, lady in Khaki appeared to have seen me ( glimmer of hope Im visible), but quickly averts her eyes, man in white jacket seemed to hear my sob, but also did not see me. They all saw and heard lady worker in colourful outfit who lost her ID card on Saturday. The collective cries of sympathy OMG, No, thats terrible, assured me she could be seen and heard. Meanwhile teary-eyed woman, a fatigued old woman stare into space. Substitute doctor promised to help me as much as possible, although it will be hard. Telling me I needed stronger tabs, he changed some, tweaked some, and sent me hopefully to the hospital pharmacy. Guess what? They had none of the meds. Go back to him. He asked: What should we do? Im Leaving this country.
Posted on: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 22:24:29 +0000
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