MY JOURNEY THROUGH POLYGYNY 5 When I married a second wife I didnt know how hard it was going to be. I didnt know that I was going to lose my family and my friends. I didnt know that people whom I love would turn against me. When I told my first wife about my intentions, she accepted it and even supported me. Little did I know that things were to change drastically after I got married. When I returned from my honeymoon my wife had changed in to a person I did not recognise. She spent the night away from me. The next morning she told me that she thought that she could share me with another woman but cant and that I have to decide what I am going to do about it. I told her that it was too late to tell me that. That there was nothing I could do about it now. She screamed at me and told me that I had ruined her life. I didnt know what to do. I needed her so desperately to stand by me, to support me in this. I went back to my new bride bereft the next day. She could tell that something was wrong but I could not tell her. How could I tell her? She has done nothing wrong. She is innocent in this. I have to weather this storm on my own. Months passed but nothing in the behaviour of my first wife changed. We hardly shared the bed anymore. The tension in our home was growing and the children could feel it. My son asked me, Why is mummy so sad? Is it because daddy did marry another woman? Dont you love mummy anymore? His words broke me. They grew distant from me. My friends asked me if getting a second wife was worth hurting my family. I was in a desperate situation. My mother did not accept my second wife and told me that she will be the cause of my family breaking up. My father told me that I hurt my mother and disappointed him. Steadily rumers started spreading. My poor second wife being the senter piece of it all. She was a persona non grata wherever she went. She was shunned by all, labelled a home wrecker. Some went as far to say that we had an affair and used the marriage to cover it up. She was belittled and undermined. Her past was dug up and the truth was embellished. She was a woman who was brutally abused my her first husband but no one had compassion for her. Her life was publicised and she was discected in public. My children disrespected her and it was acceptable because she was the accursed second wife. I couldnt stand the persecution she went through on my account and finally divorced her just to spare her the humiliation. My heart broke. Our community dont accept second wives and take every measure to hurt and bamboozle them. Forgetting that they are woman like our mother, our sisters, our daughters and that one day our daughters may face the same resentment due to no fault of their own. But only because Allah has chosen them to be second of the wives whom Allah has chosen for him. If it was your daughter, would you treat her the same?
Posted on: Sun, 14 Sep 2014 09:38:00 +0000
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