MY LIFE ON CAMPUS _ Kingzpen Episode 17 Oh my God! I did it again, I slapped Kofo. I quickly sat upright, then went on my knees on the bed. “Kofo, please I’m sorry.” I said, demonstrating with my hands. “It’s not intentional. Please I’m so sorry.” Kofo kept mute, still placed her hand on her cheek, staring at me surprised. “Kofo, It’s Bayo. He was fighting with me in the dream.” I explained. “Please, say something.” She angrily jumped out of bed, went around the room picking up her belongings and finally dressed up. I stood up from the bed, went straight to Kofo, who was busy lacing her shoes. I placed my hands on her shoulder, she hit them away with immediate effect. “Kofo, I said I’m sorry. It wasn’t intentional. Believe me.” I pleaded. She didn’t pay attention to me. She stood up, picked up her back and was leaving. I swiftly stood like a cross before her, blocking her exit from the room. “Banji, get out of my way!” She ordered. “I’m not until you accept my apology.” “Banji, get of out of my way if you don’t want trouble.” “I’m already in trouble so it’s not new.” I replied. Thud! She let her bag drop freely to the ground, she paused and screamed out loud like a mortal kombat character, Sindel. Jeeeeez! Kofo almost blocked my ears. I rushed quickly to cover her mouth with my hand, which made her stop and I immediately let go my hand from her mouth before she bites me, like she did in my dream. “Will you let me go now?” She asked, with an ‘I’ll do it again’ look on her face. “I will let you go but please can I make it up to you?” I asked. “How? If I may ask.” I winked and pointed to my bed.She hissed and afterwards frowned. “In your next life. I ain’t interested in the relationship again.” She said. I smiled. “You are joking, right?” I asked. “Hey! Read my lips.” She snarled. “It is over between us.” I went on my knees. “Kofo, don’t do this to me, please. Remember all the years we have invested in this relationship.” I pleaded. “How many years? Fifteen months and two weeks is what you call years? Joker!” “Kofo, all the same, have mercy on me.” “I’m not God. Cry to God for that.” She said, shifting her face away from me. “Banji, let me go before I do something nasty to you.” “Please, Kofo, Please. My father is dead.” I pleaded more. “My mother is ...” She swiftly interrupted. “My father is dead, likewise my mother and my sister, so don’t give me that.” She angrily replied. “If you need pity, you got mine already but I ain’t going back on my words. It is over.” I fell flat to the floor, pretending to have fainted but that didn’t touch Kofo’s already made up mind. She carefully took her steps not to step on any part of my body, opened the door and left. Plan failed, I said to myself. I revived from my pretense and chased after her. Kofo had already conquered the whole stairs, I almost persisted in the chase but I noticed something was dangling on my body. Oops! It was my problematic nozzle, I was unclad. It was almost dawn so I ran like a whipped horse, back to my room. Even in my dreams Bayo still landed me in problem and all effort to touch Kofo’s heart proved abortive. I immediately had a moodswing, all pointing to my relationship with Kofo. I laid on my bed with a saturated eyes, thinking about all I had been through and all I would pass through. Couldn’t believe I lost Kofo within seconds. I peeked at my phone for the time, it was 5:56 A.M. “When one door closes, another one opens.” I said and napped. I had slept for two hours fifteen minutes, I checked the time to know that. I was almost late for lectures and examination was already knocking on the door. I prepared for that day’s lecture like flash; ran into the bathroom with quarter filled bucket of water and came out within two minutes and dressed up very fast like a soldier. I picked my bag and forged on to class. I would travel to see my mother immediately after the lecture, I said to myself as I walked very fast. I arrived quite on time because the lecturer was still absent in class. I quietly entered the classroom, walked straight to the back seat and sat, thinking about Kofo. I was lost in thought, I never knew when Sade came close to me. She tapped me, I jerked and regained my consciousness. “Mr man, what are you thinking about?” Sade asked. “Nothing jare.” “Hmm, deceive yourself. Talk to me jor.” She persisted. “I said nothing!” I yelled at her. She flared up. “I know you are thinking about your partner in crime.” She said. “Sade, get away from here before I handle you.” I angrily said, pointing my index finger at her. “You can do nothing jor. Empty threat.” She said. “I knew you both would be in problem since you tried stealing from me.” I looked at her in anger, nodded my head and said, “I don’t have your time.” “How would you have my time? Ehn? Tell me?” She said. “Thief like you.” Sade almost got off my cloth of patience, any more word from her would land me into the pool of my anger and I wouldn’t hesitate to vent it on her. “Ain’t you a thief? Tell me? I thought you’re a gentle guy but ...” I didn’t allow her finish her words when I stood up and left the class. I walked straight to the department’s notice board to check for necessary information. “Examination! Starting on Monday?” I said. I have to travel now and return tomorrow so I would prepare, I said to myself. Without further ado, I boarded a cab to the school gate. Then I walked to the busstop to get on another bus to the garage where I would board a bus home. I finally got a bus. I entered and sat in the middle of two hefty looking men. I took a glance at them and was struck with fear, the one on my right wore a dark sunglasses and the one on my left had some bruises all around his neck, guessed he might have gotten them from a fight. Enter with your change O.” The conductor of the bus roared. “If you no get change, come down now.” I sat gallantly like a Chief, knowing fully well that I met the conductors criteria. In order not to have another fight with a conductor, I decided to pay him quickly so as for him to balance me on time. I reached for my wallet at my back pocket but it wasn’t there, I dipped my both hands into my side pocket, same condition. I’m in for it today, I was about saying. I became restless in the bus. Stop! Let me alight, that I couldn’t say because the bus had gone beyond the distance I could alight free off charge. I checked on the floor of the bus whether my wallet might have dropped, still I didn’t find it but I saw a two hundred naira note on the floor, lying close to the left leg of the hefty man on sunglasses. Should I pick it up? Definitely yes, my mind delivered me the answer in a jiffy. I bent down like someone who wants to lace his shoe, then I peeped at the man if he is aware of my move, he wasn’t, his head was positioned axis to the windshield. I immediately let my right hand grope towards the two hundred naira note, which was winking at me. “Oya, make una pay for front!” The conductor demanded his money. I quickly reached for the money, I touched it, grabbed it in my palm but my hand got stuck on the floor. The hefty man placed his leg on my hand. Which kind of trouble is this now? I asked myself. I slowly tilted my head to take a glance at the man but he pretended not to have known his leg was on my hand. He looked straight, concentrating on the windshield. I tapped him with my left hand, he removed his sunglasses, then looked at me. “Sir, you’re stepping on me.” I said. “Are you sure?” He foolishly questioned. I was almost getting annoyed but I immediately swallowed serene pills to trim it down. “Yes of course.” I replied. “Is that money yours?” He asked. I needed no seer to tell me that he was the owner of the money and he was aware the money was on the floor. “I’m sorry, but I was only trying to help you pick it up.” I lied; wisdom is the principal thing and with all thy getting get understanding, that I remembered from the Holy book. The man quickly released his leg and wore a pity look on his face. “Eyah! I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.” He apologized. I sat erect, then I handed over the money to him with the thought of how I would pay my fare. “Where are you headed?” The man asked. To the last busstop Sir!” I joyfully replied almost immediately. “Oya, your money for here.” The conductor said, stretching his hand to me. I dipped my hand into my pocket like I was going to give him money, I kept struggling with my pocket until the conductor asked the man with the sunglasses for money. Take, for the two of us, that I heard and became relaxed. I thanked God for scaling me through that huge embarrassment. The bus got to its last terminal so I alighted and started another adventure back to school. Where would my wallet be? Did I forget it in the school cab? I asked myself. I still didn’t believe my wallet was gone so I confirmed again, touching all the pockets created on my trouser, but the result remained same. I had no money with me to take me back to school, speak less about the money that would transport me home. I decided to hire my legs to transport me back to school as fast as possible. I missed Kofo that very moment because she could have helped me with the fare I needed to go home. I shrugged that feeling off and started trekking. The sun was so scorching, I had to bring out a book from my bag, raised it parallel above my face to dent its effect on me. I kicked stones as football in order for me not to feel the impact of the trek. An undergraduate behaving like a primary school pupil, I thought. I stopped kicking stones and concentrated on the journey. I returned the book I used as a cap back into my bag, then I hastened my steps. I wasn’t moving as fast as a car or motorcycle, but I was fast enough to beat a bicycle ridden by an amateur. I was virtual running out of fuel when I saw a man standing at akimbo in front of his car with its bonnet open. The man was quite young but was old enough to be my father. I can’t help but notice how handsome he was, perfectly dressed in suit. I walked up to him. “Good morning sir.” I greeted. He turned around and faced me. “Good morning.” He replied. I smiled. “Sir, what’s wrong with your car?” I asked. “Hmm. It has an injector problem.” He answered. “Thanks.” “Ha! That’s serious o.” I said and added, “can I be of help?” The man smiled. “Never mind, Son.” He said. “I have sent my daughter to get a mechanic just across the street.” “Sir, I have little idea about cars, let me put it to a test.” I insisted with a smile. Put your little knowledge about cars to a test with my car?” He said and giggled. “Anyway, you’re free. Over there.” Jesus, you just have to help me now, I prayed in my heart. I walked like an experienced mechanic to the car, dropped my bag and started unplugging what I really don’t know from the car’s engine. “In the name of Jesus! You this engine, receive life.” I prayed quietly but loud enough for someone very close to hear. “Hey! Mr? What are you doing?” The man asked. “No-o-thing sir.” I stuttered. “Nothing?” “Something sir.” I said. “Come and start it, Sir.” The man walked towards me. “Are you sure it’s going to start?” He asked. “That am not sure about, sir, but start it.” The man went into the car. He turned the key but not a single sound was made. He came out furious. “The car ignited to some extent before you touched it, what did you do to it?” He yelled. I twitched. I’m in trouble, I almost said. “Sir, I did nothing. Let me fix this stuffs back.” I said. “Go on. Fix it let me see you.” He mockingly said and stood behind me like a Boss supervising an apprentice. I looked behind me at intervals, hoping no slap drops on my neck suddenly. I plugged back all that I had unplugged. “Sir, go and start it.” He obediently walked into his car while I solemnly prayed to God in my heart. Yes! I did it, I said to myself as the car responded. The man rushed out of the car with a smile on his face, then hugged me so tight. “Sir, my hands are dirty.” I said with joy in my heart. “I don’t want to stain you.” He refused, still hugging me tightly. “Daddy?” The man let me out of his arms, I turned around to peek on the person who called him and I was flabbergasted with whom I saw. Banji?” “Adaobi?” I said, pointing at her. “Banji.” “Adaobi.” She ran and hugged me so tightly. We let go each other, I looked at her still surprised and smiled. “What are you doing here?” She happily asked, breathing hard. “Hmm.” I sounded, looked at her father, then shifted my focus back to her. “I was coming from the garage so I saw your dad trying to fix his car and I helped him.” “Wooooow.” She shouted, covering her mouth with her hands. “Now, I see. What goes around comes around.” Adaobi’s father, who stood with a folded arms, watching the movie we displayed before him, immediately demanded our attention by clearing his throat. “You two know each other?” He asked his daughter. “Yes Dad.” “Your classmate?” He asked. Adaobi gave her dad a sarcastic look. “No Dad! Come on.” She replied. “He’s far from that, he’s a university student.” “Huh?” Her father asked, surprised. “Yes Dad. He’s.” Her father shifted his attention to me. “Are you serious?” Hey Mr! I repaired your car, kindly pay me and let me go, I have a journey to embark on, I almost said. “Hmm. Yes sir. I’m.” I reluctantly replied. “That’s amazing!” He said and hurriedly went into his car. I quickly faced Adaobi, who was as radient as I last saw her. If we were in the cartoon world, definitely, my eyes would have a love badge on it, popping in and out of my eye socket. I couldn’t say a word to her because I was choked by her fragrance, which smelled love, love and love.What? Banji, why that look?” She asked with a smile on her face. As a literature student, I had read many books and had crammed many quotes, then my brain like Google carved out the needed ones and downloaded them to my mind. “ Adaobi, you’re so beautiful and your dove eyes are veiled by your hair as it flows and shimmers, like a flock of sheep in the distance streaming down a hillside in the sunshine.“ “Hmm.” She sounded, blushing. “Your smile is generous, fully expressive, strong and clean. Your lips are jewel red, your mouth elegant and inviting.” “Hmm, Baaannnjjjiii.” She said, shifting closer to me. “Your veiled cheeks are soft and radiant. The smooth, supple lines of your neck command notice. All heads turn in awe and admiration when you pass by.” “Oh my God!” She amazingly said, covering her mouth with her right hand as her dad interrupted. “Ada, where is the pack of my complementary cards?” He asked her from the car. “Dad, I don’t know. Check the safe.” She quickly replied her dad to hear more of my words. “Banji, please continue.” I cleared my throat, dusted my shirt with the back of my palm, feeling like Aladdin. “Your bosoms are like fawns, twins of a gazelle, grazing among the first spring flowers.” I said. She immediately looked at her chest to comfirm if what I said was true. Oh my my, literature has its advantage in the life of a man, I said to myself, jumping and throwing a party within. She looked at me with a wink to continue. I paid her back with a smile and continued. “The sweet, fragrant curves of your body, the soft, spiced contours of your flesh invite me, and here I am. I stay until dawn breathes its light and night slips away.” I was already engrossed and burnt up with love for Adaobi. The love I had for her was more than what Romeo had for Juliet. I shifted closer to her, she closed the gap between us, and we both cared less about passers-by. It all seemed like an Indian film shot in Nigeria. I looked into her eyes, she did same. “You’re beautiful from head to toe, my dear. You’re beautiful beyond comparison. Oh my God! In fact you are absolutely flawless.” I said, holding her by the neck and I quickly checked if her dad was watching but thanks to the bonnet, it blocked the windshield. Some rich folks don’t give a damn about what people say, I knew when Adaobi almost kissed me on the road. I quickly place my index finger on her lips. “We can’t do this here.” I said, partially thinking about the power of words. She became sad. “You are right. Ok, I understand but I don’t care, you know?” She said. “But it’s fine. I understand.” “Thanks for understanding.” I said with a pounding and a happy heart. “Yeah Yeah” She said and smiled. “Can I have your number?” I asked, reaching for my phone in my pocket. “Sure, why not.” I gave her my phone, she began typing when her dad caught us too close for comfort. “Ada!” “Dad?” She answered, trembled. She handed me the phone and walked up to him. I stood where I was, waiting to be called. He signalled me to come and I rushed to him. He stretched some money to me with a smile on his face. “Keep it up. Ok?” He said. “Yes sir.” I said. “Thank you sir.” Adaobi’s father closed the bonnet of the car, then dusted his hands and his suit. “Ada, come on let’s go.” He said to his daughter. “Yes Dad.” She replied and quickly peeked at me before moving into the car. I smiled, fixing my eyes on Adaobi’s ever vibrating backside as she entered into the car. They zoomed away as I waved at them. Money! Thank you Jesus for this miracle, I said to myself. I quickly kept my phone in my pocket to count the money, I found out it was a huge sum of five thousand naira; It’s huge to a fellow who had zero amount in his account. I kept the money in my pocket and brought out my phone to save Adaobi’s number which displayed on the screen of my phone. I was bolted from the blue when I looked at the screen of my phone, Adaobi’s number was gone. Episode 18 I immediately looked like a chump, scratching my hard hard like I was digging for gold. I still didn’t believe so I scrolled to my call log, ransacked it but nothing was found. I looked at the road they exited from, trail it for some distant like I knew where they were, paused and gave it all up. I am sure bewitched, I said to myself. I had the feeling that it was a bad day for me, having lost something as precious as Adaobi’s number but every minute my hand collided with my swollen pocket, my day renewed authomatically; how are you? Money! Which draws a final conclusion that money is the answer to all questions. I shrugged off the pity party I was throwing within myself and hastily forged on to the garage. I arrived at the garage only to witness the bus going to my destination take off. I was sad but I had no choice than to wait for the next one. I sat alone in a bus that would convey fourteen passengers, en route my destination. I was seated at the right-most extreme end at the back, with my chin resting comfortably on my left palm which was pivoted by my elbow which I placed just by the window. My wondering eyes couldn’t help but fist on the drowsy conductor, who yawned at intervals while beckoning on passengers, he was annoying but I had no choice than to stay glue to my seat till the bus got filled up. “Gala here! Gaaaallllllaaaaaaa! Bros Gala!” An hawker shouted. He brought the product very close to me, I peeped into the carton and I could immediately perceive that it was fresh. “Na today own?” I stupidly asked, not after knowing the answer myself. “Bros, na today own o.” He relied. “Bros, touch am na.” Like I was hypnotized, I touched it and demanded for four of it, which in total cost two hundred naira. I reached for money in my pocket, gladly drew a note out and handed it over to the hawker, who simultaneously gave me my balance. I realize the money grew wings when I ordered for viju milk, a drink that has different flavors but all had a milky taste. All the while I was statically shopping, passengers were already trooping into the bus. One, two, I counted the empty seats left in the bus and was glad with the turn up. The drowsy conductor roused up, returned to the bus and demanded for the fare. “Please, your money over there.” He roared, stretching his hand to the passenger on the front seat. Like flash, he got to me and I gladly paid. The bus became filled up some minutes after. The driver entered into the bus, ignited the engine and we zoomed off. The journey was for three hours, summing up the time the bus would endure in the inevitable traffic jam. The body balance of the bus got my heary settled, unlike some buses that would break down after two to three kilometers drive. They were nine ladies, two babies and six men in the bus, the driver inclusive. I sighed, brought out my snacks and crunch them slowly. Suddenly, I paused for some seconds, chewed slowly, and finally stopped. I laid aside the snacks on my hands and thought deeply about the main cause of my predicament. It hasn’t been like this from the begining, what happened? Who did I offend? Am I gotten from the gods or what? My C.G.P.A has drastically dropped and things are not getting any better. My father dead, my mother lying lifeless in the hospital, What did I do wrong? My mind randomly thought. I sighed again, dismissed the feeling and continued with my snacks. I ate it all within minutes, dusted away the crumbs from my cloth and sat upright. I couldn’t sleep because I was scared of the negative happenings that had surrounded me lately, staying alert was the best way for me to overcome any similar one. After spending two hours fifteen minutes on the road, the bus became extremely hot. The lady sitting next to me carried a baby at her back, I peeked at the baby boy and noticed his restlessness behind his mother. “Ma, your baby is hot.” I said to her. “Thank you sir.” She said with a smile on her face. “Let me help you carry him so you may be relieved.” I suggested. “Ha, thank you very much sir. God bless you.” She appreciated me, loosened the cloth she used in holding the baby and brought the baby out. I took the baby from her and kept him on my laps, I love babies alot. I tickled the baby and he gave me a bright smile. I was happy playing with the baby because it made me totally forget about my sorrow. I took the baby by the armpit, raised him up and I immediately got baptized with urine from his infinitesimally small nozzle. He peed on my face, it affected my eyes and I reflexly shoved the baby higher, hitting his head hard on the roof of the car. “Ha!” The mother and some other passengers shouted while the mother of the baby quickly collected her baby from me. I felt embarrased but that would had been better if the baby had cried. The baby remained mute with his eyes closed. Baby, I beg you in the name of Jesus to open your eyes and cry, I prayed in my heart. The mother turned the baby’s back to herself and patted it but still no sound was made. The mother fearfully peeked at me, I pitifully gazed back at her, she returned her face to her silent baby and quickly returned her focus back to me without saying a word. I shifted eyes away from the lady’s blazing eyes to the baby. I began to twitch and pray silently in my mind. Who on earth asked me to care about this baby? I should have allowed the baby sweat out his life at the back of her mother, I said to myself. Some passengers, who were aware about the incident showed concern while some were sleeping like log of woods. The mother inserted her mouth into the baby’s mouth, giving him a mouth to mouth resuscitation. Cough! Couch! The baby stretched and cried out loud like he was pinched. My racing heart halted immediately and I could smile again. Thank you Jesus, I almost said with my head resting on the seat in front of me. I peeked at the mother of the baby with the corner of my eye and all I could see was rage for me. She frowned her face like an employee who hasn’t been paid for years, inserting her bosom into the mouth of her baby. I felt like slapping the baby after solely displaying an horror scene before me. The baby never knew all that happened, he concentrated on his mother’s bosom like his life depends on it. After spending two hours fifty minutes in the bus, I decided to alight to save my head from further problem, we never could tell if the baby was destined to die some minutes later. “Driver abeg next busstop dey o.” I instructed. “You sey?” The driver asked, not hearing what I said. “Next busstop dey!” I and some passengers yelled at the driver. “Ok.” The driver confirmed. I looked at the baby keenly, to verify if he was fairing well enough for me to alight in peace. Yes, he was. I gazed at the mother, whose eyes had been shuffling from her baby to me, and I cared less what she thought of me. I wasn’t as wicked as she thought I was, so I decided to express my pang of guilt. “Excuse me ma.” I called for her attention. She looked at me disdainfully. “Yes, can I help you? My baby is not free.” She stupidly concluded. I smiled. “Ma, I’m not carrying your baby, I...” I said, when she immediately interrupted. “You can’t even carry him because I can’t hand him over to someone like you again. I smiled again. “Ok ma, but I just want to tell you how sorry I’m about the whole thing. I’m so sorry. Pardon me.” She hissed, stared at me disgustingly and said, “I don hear you o. Would that be all?” She asked. “Yes, Ma.” I said and foolishly asked, “What’s his name?” “Whose name?” She asked with a suspicious look on her face. “Your baby.” I replied, stretching my hand to tickle the baby out of a clear conscience. She impulsively hit my hand away like a dangerous weapon. “I can see that you are mad. I don’t need to be told that you arexcdaf gfbnbzxsytf.” She yelled. “You are mad. Driver abeg next busstop dey o, hope you never forget? Abeg no forget o, hian!” A passenger, seated in front of us was quite disturbed by the lady’s rant. “Ki lo tun de?” He asked, which means, ‘What’s the matter again?’ The lady cleared her throat, swallowed her spit and started talking. “Thank you o. God will bless you for that question. Is it not this uncle here, not after he almost killed my baby he’s now asking for his name.” “Is that all?” The passenger asked. “Yes.” “Ok madam, don’t be upset.” He said and sat upright. I nodded my head in pity for the lady, shrugged it off and fixed my eyes on the windshield. Less than six minutes later, the driver parked the car, he had reached the busstop I demanded to be alighted. It wasn’t an easy task to get out of the corner I sat. I had to step on toes to get my heavy self out of the bus. “Are you blind?” The woman with the baby yelled. “Don’t you know you stepped on me?” I really wasn’t interested in picking a fight with her because I had aroused her anger towards me. “I am so sorry, ma.” I apologized, looking at her. “Abeg, just go down. Bad belle.” She said. I gnored her and peacefully got off the bus. Thank God I’m finally out of this mess, now, the baby can die if he wants to, I almost said. The car zoomed off while I stood on the same spot calling for a motorcycle to board me to my final destination, which the bus should have dropped me. I waited for a minute, still no motorcycle in view, the ones I saw had passengers on them. I rather stand here than to sit in that bus which almost implicated me for my dying mother, I said to myself. Almost immediately as I completed the thought, I saw the bus I just alighted from, reversing towards me. I tilted my head a little and looked acutely to be sure if it was the bus. Yes! It was. “Hey! Bros!” The passengers in the bus shouted and waved at me as the bus kept moving closer. “Bros!” It all played like a movie before me, seeing them again. Why did they come back for me? Oh! Definitely, I was correct about the baby dying any minutes from then and now they want to hold me down. Never! I said to myself and took to my heels faster than ever. I hid behind a closed kiosk, peeped at the bus and watched it zoom off before coming out. “Me, Banji, una no know me. I’m Mr Sharp guy. Fools, you better go and bury your baby.” I said as I walked towards the spot I ran from to board a motorcycle. Luckily for me, I got a motorcycle the very minute I got to the busstop. He transported me to my house and I paid him a fortune, a huge sum of seven hundred naira. As expected, my house was scanty and deserted. I have to call Old Soldier as soon as possible, I said to myself. I almost ran insane when I reached for my phone and I felt nothing in my pocket; no horror movie could surpass the sensation of touching your pockets and not feel your cell phone. Was I dreaming? I wiped my face, strained my fingers more on my eyes, just to be sure I wasn’t in a dreamland. Oops! Reality dawned on me, my phone was gone. I guess my phone dropped in the bus, the passengers were kind enough to get it back to me and I was too dumb to run away from my belonging, I thought. “Banji, I swear you’re a fool. Kai! Nokia N70 gone just like that! Ha, Banji you don jonz.” I screamed out loud with lot of pain in my heart. What next? I dropped the baby hanging behind my back all day on the sofa and forged out to Old Soldier’s house. I couldn’t describe the feeling operating on me at that moment because it was so out of this world. I walked briskly along our street in order not to be consoled by anyone in the neighbourhood. I got to Old Soldier’s house only to meet his daughter, Sheri. Sheri was Old Soldier’s last daughter out of his six children. She was quite beautiful, but not as beautiful as Adaobi. Sheri’s height gave her the priviledge to gaze at me at an horizontal level. I last saw Sheri when I was in 100 level. Hey Sheri! Good to see you. How are you?” “Me dey o. You nko?” She replied. “I’m fine too.” I said with a smile. “Please, where is your dad?” “I no know o, try call am na.” She said. Sheri unknowingly open my wound. “Hmm. My phone is ehn—is ehn not with me here.” I lied, but was fairly true because it really wasn’t with me. “Ehn wetin we go come do now?” She asked, concerned. I thought for some seconds. “Do you in anyway know about my mum’s illness?” I asked with a saturated eyes. “No o, your mama sick?” “Yes, that’s the reason I came home. She was admitted at the hospital yesterday and your dad informed me on phone.” “Eyah, sorry. Me no know o because I just land from barracks yesterday.” “Ehn Ehn, Ok.” I said, not interested in her tales. “Banji, enter and sit down make I help you call am.” She said. I was ushered in by Sheri. Like bluetooth, my eyes easily connected to Sheri’s shaking backside as we walked in. She moved ahead of me and delibrately shook her instrument to my glory. That very minute, I forgot my name, far from remembering my problems. I sat on the sofa in their parlor while Sheri strolled into her room. I turned my neck at different degrees looking and feeding my eyes with the frames that hung around their wall. I saw Old Soldier in one of the frames with a devilish face with a rifle in his hand. I feared Old Soldier an extra more. “Banji!” Sheri called me from her room but I really don’t know where. “Yes.” “Come.” She said. “Come? Why? Where?” I confusingly asked. “Come talk to my pale for here.” She said. “I dey charge my phone here so I no fit commot am That was a nice excuse to get me into her room, I thought. “But where is your room?” I said, not to act too forward. “Here.” She said, standing by the door of her room, wrapping the curtain around herself, portraying just her head. “Ok.” I said, stood up and walked towards her. “Come in.” I fearfully walked in, took some steps more and sat on her three inches bed. Gbam! Sheri slammed the door and locked it. I still didn’t understand what was happening until she unwrapped herself from the curtain. Oh my God! What am I seeing? I was clear in my mind that even Joseph in the Bible wouldn’t overcome the temptation that unraveled before me. Without further ado, the network connection on my brain failed and lost its service, not even an emergency call would go through. I couldn’t think of anything than to accomplish the project Sheri was about to issue me. Then I knew barrack girls were really what they were called, dangerous. She came closer to me with a towel wrapped around her, temporarily shielding away her twined headlamps and her ever pulsating backside. She took her steps one after the other like a cat about to catch its prey. I couldn’t move or speak, all I just did was salivate for her touch, proceeding to the final show down. “Banji, I like you na e make me wan give you the thing o.” She said, seductively licking her lips. If you’re in Rome behave like a Roman and if you’re in Nigeria behave like a Naija, that saying I remembered, which got my tongue pidginized. “You dey serious sey you like me? I no know o.” I said, stretching my hands towards her waist. “I like you since that dey wey you and your pale come our house come greet my pale.” She said. “You remember?” It was disheartening that my brain was still on vacation not to be remorseful when she mentioned my father, who was late. “Yes, I remember.” I lied because I didn’t remember a thing but of what use was it if I said otherwise. “That night, I been dey cut you eye but you still be JJC that time.” She said, with a smile. I immediately cut in. “I be JJC that time but not this time. I don learn na.” I said boldly. You sure sey you don bad?” “Bad ke? Which kind bad be that?” I curiously asked because I was getting confused. Sheri looked at me with a corner of her right eye, winked it and said, “You don understand?” I winked back at her and foolishly succumb to her peacockish advances. “Ok, I don understand.” She came closer to me, I grabbed her waist, she looked at me and smiled. Sheri suddenly turned around, facing her dangerous backside to me and I steadily gazed at it like I was watching a music video on SoundCity. My hands held firm to her waist like I was carrying a bucket of water without an handle. Sheri took the movie to the next scene, she loosened her towel and it dropped on my hands. Banji, if you like your destiny don’t look up, just bury your head and remain still, I said to myself. Could I adhere to that advice? No, I couldn’t. I tilted my head up and saw two baloons vibrating in front of me. My brain lost control over my hands, they went ahead to hold and caress them. I ignorantly activated trouble. She turned around, thrust me flat on the bed, loosened my belt, unhooked my trouser and dragged it out of my legs. “Ha!” I said, with my mouth wide opened. She paused and looked at me. “Wetin?” She yelled. “You no know wetin we wan do?” I nodded and smiled. “Sheri Sheri, I just dey play.” “So wetin be Ha?!” She asked with a sad look. I smiled. “That’s Halleluyah for short.” I irrationally replied. “Ok. Make e be am o.” She said and flung my trouser to a corner of her cubicle. My nozzle was ready to strike, angrily moving up and down in my tight raven pant. Don’t this girl have shame? I asked myself. She was totally unclad, right in the afternoon. I stared at her headlamps as they freely dangled before me. Sheri took it higher and faster again, she pulled out my pant in a jiffy, leaving my nozzle pointing to the sky like MTN mast. She flung my pant to a direction different from the current location of my trouser. I wondered if she did that purposely or it was a response from the feeling operating on her. Sheri, who was ready for battle jumped on me like a cat on a fish, kissed me passionately to set the pitch for a smooth match. I forgot all I thought I knew, even my matriculation number was dumped in the recycle bin of my brain. No No No! Sheri climbed on me like a polo player, spread my legs apart, looked at me and grinned. “You don ready?” She asked. “Ehn?” I nodded. “Yes.” I fearfully replied. “You no get gloves?” “Which one be that?” She asked and looked at me disgustingly. “Me no dey fight with gloves o. Punch me with your bare hands make I feel am well well.” Then I knew the devil had dedicated his life to finish my life. No, gloves? I asked myself. “Oya jor.” She said, rolled away from me to the bed, spread her legs wide apart like the gate to Jerusalem. She yelled, “oya climb me.” I slugglishly rolled on her and I was about taking the freekick when refree blew the whistle. Knock! Knock!! “Sheri! •••Sheyifunmi•••
Posted on: Tue, 04 Nov 2014 00:29:50 +0000
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