MY PAIN WITH PTSD Do you know what it’s like to feel the pain? The aching body, life’s a constant drain. Uncontrollable anger, throughout does surge, I hate those feelings that pent up urge. Incredible discomfort, the body suppressed, An altered ego, the other depressed. Unknown instructions, relentless road, Self destructing, helpless mode. Outbursts of emotions, not good to the eye Alternative actions curl up and die. Unable to see, why with life I can’t cope, That eternal triangle, end of the rope. At night the dreams come, destruction of life, Death is the struggle, the pain and the strife. That feeling of running, with no-where to go, These are some of the feelings, you’ll never know. Keep down the man, but the thoughts still remain. Eternal combustion, ever-lasting pain. Help is the plea, yet these words, you don’t hear, When will this end, this living in fear. Not fear of the living, not fear of the dead, Only fear of the thoughts, trapped in my head. My life’s been destroyed; I’m no longer free, This is what war has done to me. Not out for revenge, I’m no bodies fool, One hundred percent, I gave them my all. I’m living an endless, nightmare hell, I want my life back, I need to be well. Control is no option; it’s all down to fate, Please help me return, before it’s too late. See the mouth move, but the words you can’t hear, It’s like screaming in pain, you’re so unaware. Alone in this world, comprehension is void, No wonder I’m angry, pent up, and annoyed. Remorse for my actions, hit hard on the soul, Relentless searching, never reaching the goal. Swap places with me, from my feet to my head, Feel what its like, alive but yet dead. Discontinued association, emotions depleted, In this war I have lost, completely defeated. Understanding is absent, in death I’ll prevail, An easy way out, without, it can’t fail. Adverse discomfort, causes unwanted thought, Complicated reactions, leaves this lifeline taut. Constructive conclusion, assistance required, Derogative emotions, from the heart have been fired. Détente relaxation, of thoughts to survive, Comprehension is needed, whilst I’m still alive. Fractious deception, on the way to go on, It’s been some time; it’s been too long. A final plea, before life I depart, Hapless, helpless screams from the heart. Last chance to resume, tow the line, Please give me back, what once was mine. Denial of life, held by a strand, The desert took toll, alone in the sand. So open your heart, as your ears seem so closed, I’m not who I was, all calm and reposed. Please feel what I feel, be exposed to my life, Feel as it goes in, the twist of the knife. The pain everlasting, never apart, Feel what I feel, deep in my heart. Know what its like, withdrawn inside, Feel the feelings, from which I hide. It’s just not fair; hear these words I tell, That to be with me, you must share my hell. So hear these words from present and past, I ask not much, but peace at last. The war may have ended, the battle was won, I’m still fighting my fight; my war still goes on. Despondent, dismayed, feeling low and diminished, The war may have ended, but my battles not finished. With what’s left of life, I hold on and sustain, Yet within this darkness, I wallow in pain. There’s no moving forward, I’m held in the past, Please free me from this hell, at last. Know what I see, from these eyes of fate, Help me return, before it’s too late. And remember the dead, the commitment and giving, But please don’t forget, the dead that are living.
Posted on: Sun, 18 Aug 2013 07:23:27 +0000
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