MY UPDATED CONCLUSIONS ABOUT CHURCH-LIFE Last week I had a really bad morning at work, and felt so forsaken and lonely in the midst of humankind, that I was willing to try going to my former church again; I texted my friend and neighbor, sharing how I felt, and asked if she would pick me up and let me sit by her and her daughter during service. My friend was most gracious, and immediately assented. And now, although Ive concluded, prayerfully, that I wont be visiting this Sunday after all -- because the services there are either too early or too late, for my personal schedule, every week! -- I was still happy to even share such an idea with my friend; I felt a part of my heart soften, and it felt good, and it still feels good, spiritually. After suggesting to her my going to church with her, I was also glad to have the Holy Spirit begin to emphasize, over the next few days, certain Scripture verses to my mind, re-convincing me that, at the end of the day, Christians meeting together in church buildings, as they have for centuries, is a GOOD thing to do, and RIGHT. Nevertheless, my problem with going to church services remains a very serious and personal one: I have concluded that I have Aspergers Syndrome, a mild form of Autism. And I also have to conclude that the average church-service is NOT geared for Aspergers people, nor even, for that matter, for introverts, but rather for the majority of people, who are relatively outgoing, social, and comfortable in public places. House-church gatherings would be much better, I think, for Introverts, who are uneasy in social/public settings, and can only really open up or be themselves around a few people whom they personally know and trust. In my case, though, even house-church gatherings would likely be a problem, because of my Aspergers Syndrome which is little-understood even by many/most average Introverts! Personally, Ive always thrived in close, trusted, one-on-one relationships, or small groups of close friends, at most. Ive surrendered some of my bitterness and hardness towards larger church-congregations, meeting for formal services; I newly conclude, once more, that they ARE Scriptural, and right, and good, and edifying; but I also remain an advocate for small house-churches, and small, informal Christian gatherings. And, for now, my position and question remains the same: WHERE DO I BELONG? I trust God will reveal this to me in due time. I am open for attending a church-service, but it must be between Noon and 4PM, otherwise Im cutting in my necessary sleep/relaxation times.
Posted on: Sat, 25 Jan 2014 13:45:07 +0000