MYTHS ABOUT FINDING YOUR SOUL MATE Do we each have one ideal mate? Do opposites really attract? Some adages about the age-old mystery of love are true, but many are just myths with no basis in fact. Social therapy counselor James Piers, a professor of sociology and social work at Hope College in Holland, MI, sorts out the fact from the fiction. There is a marriage made in heaven, with each person having one ideal partner on earth. False -- This is not supported by research, says Piers. People will marry someone just like Mom or Dad. True -- Research indicates the parental image theory may be a factor in mate selection, says Piers. Opposites attract. False -- How often do we look at a couple with dissimilar traits, abilities, and interests and wonder how they ever got together? Though we often hear about this complementary needs theory, there is little empirical support for it, he explains. Likes attract. True -- People with similar values often appeal to each other, says Piers. We like to be supported. You never get something for nothing. True -- This social exchange theory suggests that mate selection is really barter at a subconscious level, says Piers. Ill share my social status, physical attributes and business acumen with you if you commit your attention to me and share your personality attributes and professional status. You get what you expect. True -- This suggests that we look for a partner who fits our expectations of how life-roles should be performed, he explains. Modern technology can help you find your perfect mate. Maybe -- The interesting thing that the computer has allowed to do through dating services is articulate our best traits--if were being honest. It has allowed you to refine the search a little bit, explains Piers. We probably learn more about each other from that system than some others. My caution, of course, is that most of us tend to lie.
Posted on: Fri, 08 Nov 2013 13:08:44 +0000
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