Make-up discovery: 28 months in February. Not take a day away from January or March to balance it out and make them all 30. No balance, no order! This is Monthical discrimination!! I don’t know if I was going anywhere with that, but it’s almost March! Happy almost-March, month of a happily grouped 31 days. Like 31-day-polygamy, but for days! So when I was little, I used to think make-up was a universal paint people used on their faces that came in different colors – lip paint, eye paint, skin paint, whatever kind of paint, it was all just paint. Then I grew older and made some important discoveries. Eye shadow: Not paint. It’s colored dust. When I first saw it, I thought it was for artificial bruises or maybe to re-dustify things after you dusted the house. Nope, it goes on eyes, like maybe your eyes are really old and collected a specific color of dust, it’s dust. Lipstick: What on earth is this retarded pencil? Oh, it’s this wax-stuff you put on your lips. Nope, that ain’t paint. Granted that explained why Joker looked the way he did, I mean, men never wore lipstick, completely inexperienced. My grandma was experienced with the retarded pencil though! Foundation: Look! Halloween goop! That people wear to make their skin look like skin! They didn’t even buy a different color… Yes, it’s goop. Wouldn’t it be easier if there was a transparent foundation that didn’t even have to match your skin to put it on your face and get the same effect? Guess not. Nail Polish: I knew what this stuff was right away, my mom used to paint my nails because what was better than blue nails? Nothing. The tips of my fingers were my favorite color and just made staring at my hands that much more fun. (I got in trouble for doing that quite often actually, playing with my hands rather than listening to the teacher.) Lip Gloss: I knew this one at an early age too, mainly because as a unknowing blossoming alchemist, I was taking different types of sugar and mixing them with soft wax to make lip gloss that tasted like all kinds of weird candies. Like suicide drinks but for lip frosting! Powder: Stuff that is also skin tone to cough on, because sneezing into a powder supply was a dangerous, rather fun thing to do. It was like blowing powdered sugar around, but rather making your hair the same tone as your skin so you could blend into your self. Blush: Pink powder you were supposed to put on your cheeks to make yourself look really embarrassed or putting up with a cold. What was the point? I’d be blushing because I looked like I was blushing. Eye-liner: Yes, I still enjoy this one. It was a large pencil you could use to draw on your eyes, and it’s the only make-up I use as of today. Mascara: The stupid version of eye-liner that supposedly eats away at the eye-lashes one is intending to make look bigger. Seriously, all those dust mites that live in eye liner, does no one ever think about them? Poor little mites living in a bottle of black poverty, only to be fed eye-lashes as their only food. Lip-liner: Strange pencil used to cartoonify your lips. Now, it may not be a make-up, but… Hairdryer. (Dun dun dunnnn) The pinnacle of a bad day. Loud, annoying, like someone blowing in my face at extreme and consecutive speeds. This, my darklings, was the work of the devil. Hmm, I guess that’s it for now! Figured out what bronzer was last year. Like fake tans, but… if one wanted to, they could use it to robot-i-fy themself. Or cosplay a penny, whichever. A’ight, that’s it for now! Haha, so gangsta~ Over and out!
Posted on: Sat, 08 Mar 2014 07:36:20 +0000
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