Manipulation Definition: Manipulation - The practice of steering an individual into a desired behavior for the purpose of achieving a hidden personal goal. Collateral Damage People with Personality Disorders often engage in behaviors which appear manipulative and controlling to those around them. While these manipulative acts may be deliberate and conscious on the part of the Personality Disordered individual, their focus is often not so much on the person they are controlling as it is on themselves. In many cases, the person is attempting to soothe internal feelings or fears by creating a focal point in a close relationship, rather than attempting to produce certain feelings in others - a bit like the way a puppeteer seeks an audience response through the puppet’s antics. This helps explain why appeals for fairness or logical arguments are often ineffective in persuading people with Personality Disorders to behave more fairly or lovingly. For them, their own feelings take precedence, while the feelings and needs of others may appear small and insignificant. This can result in a dysfunctional Situational Ethic in the mind of the person with the Personality Disorder in which the end (resolving the internal feelings) justifies the means (controlling, manipulating or hurting someone close). This does not qualify as an excuse for manipulative or hurtful behaviors. It can be helpful for Nons however to understand that this disconnect exists in the minds of some Personality Disordered persons, and that the manipulative or controlling behavior is not somehow deserved, or even on some levels personal. How it Looks •Behaving in an outrageous or violent way in order to provoke an angry response - known as Baiting. • Casting oneself as a victim in order to evoke a sympathetic response - also known as Self-Victimization. • Overt acts of self-harm intended to generate a crisis for loved ones. • Overt cheating or flirting to evoke a sense of jealousy in others. • Withdrawal, avoidance or silent treatment designed to get the other person to pursue closeness. • Proxy Recruitment, or pitting two other people against each other in order to create conflict between others. • Chronic empty promises. • Raging with the intent of maintaining a state of conflict or to force another to pay greater attention. • Hoovering to persuade a withdrawing abuse victim to return to a state of closeness.
Posted on: Wed, 02 Oct 2013 04:02:32 +0000
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