Many of my dreams came true. A mild experience of fame and fortune has come to me in my journey which has been the least of what actually brings anything lasting. Its a fleeting high that comes down. It taught me a lot. I got everything I wanted and was still miserable. I know folks with fortunes & fame like this.I have met and spent time with very large stars who suffer them self like everyone else. As they are just as everyone. Robin Williams was the epic of empty. My dogs will die. This I have no fear of or delusion of. I will also. I created my life of acting, writing and painting. It will continue always. But it cant ever bring anything to cure the self of self. Money eases the pain of ones neurosis ever so slightly, but depending on your upbringing, most are conditioned into their insanities and will find they are sitting there haunting no matter how much one earns. I have been breaking bad for 8 years now. Peace, in the sun, with nature & quiet and the bonus of my dogs is pure wealth. I would not swap it for anything I have experienced. No person, child, dog, money, achievement, job or substance can bring what we are looking for in them all. Peace. I will continue my silly in the circus & enjoy the ride. But I will not rely on the material and fleeting to give me any joy. It cant. This seeking in things is our pain. Drowning out the noise with noise to find that peaceful tune is our paradoxical madness. Addicted to escape to try and find peace where it cant be found. Thats all. Its January & the sun is lovely. And that is worth millions by itself. Add the birds and sound of the bees, a hawk flying past and two crows playing. Its that simple. Peace.
Posted on: Fri, 16 Jan 2015 23:04:25 +0000
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