Many of us who have Borderline Personality Disorder know how difficult it is to have us in your life. We know how hard it is to hear us in our depths of despair. We know how hard it is to have us in your life. We know how we may come across as manipulative, controlling, unwilling to change, even intolerable, we know, but step back for a moment, really look at us. Inside you will find the most compassionate, empathetic, kind, giving people you will meet. Yes you are tired of the chaos. As tired as you are, we are drained, worn down. Yes you feel trapped by the relationship, as trapped as you feel we are birds banging our heads against the cage wanting to fly. I implore you, do not tell us we do nothing to improve. We have been seeking help most of our lives, we have been fighting to get normal forever. We have been actually getting up every morning, this in itself is comparable to climbing Mount Everest, this is doing something. We are not about control, manipulation, lies, we are about fear. We love you, possibly more than most people can feel love and are in sheer terror of losing you, this is the control you speak of. Dont turn your back on us (Unless you are in danger of your life, but most BPDs only hurt themselves) For when you turn your back on us, you have reinforced the idea that we are unworthy, hopeless & cannot make it in this world. In my experience most of the conflicts that arise with BPDs and Non-BPDs are misunderstandings. Be clear about what you mean, extremely clear, because what you say is perceived by us as something different. Be reassuring. Dont say I cant take this right now. Simply start the sentence differently.. You have every right to feel the way you do, but can we talk later, I will call you back at such and such a time. Be validating. Dont tell others we are crazy We are a lot healthier than most people walking around ignoring their feelings, we are learning how to cope. Dont tell us we are being overly dramatic, overly sensitive, we are not dramatic, our feelings are real and yes, we are overly sensitive, but is that such a bad thing? I am proud to say that when I love, I love with all my soul, I am proud to say that I do understand you, but can you even try to understand me?!? Remember too that not all people with Borderline Personality Disorder are the same. Some, like me, are known as the quiet Borderline. I torture myself. I turn my pain inward on myself. As an analogy: If we had cancer, would you say Im tired of taking you for your treatments, fight this on your own? BPD is like terminal cancer. As long as we are in treatment & learning to cope, be there, because one day that bird that is banging their head against the cage will fly free & you will miss the opportunity to fly with them..
Posted on: Fri, 14 Nov 2014 00:51:12 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015