Many people speak of the importance of killing or suppressing the ego, but that would be neither smart, nor possible. Would you kill or suppress your thought processes? In fact, we often speak of the ego as though it is the enemy, but then we submit to it as though it is the master - when, in fact, it is neither. The ego is simply the part of the mind that structures our sense of personal identity. When we have thoughts about our self with which we agree, we then construct a self-image. The types of thoughts that contribute to the ego structure are “I’m not good at math.” “I am smart.” “My freckles make me ugly.” “Nobody likes me.” “I am better than you.” “That was stupid of me.” The ego hides behind the “I” and “me” in those declarative thoughts and statements about our identity. When we have such thoughts, and agree with even the slightest conviction that these ideas define us, then we are building, or reinforcing, our ego. We first have these thoughts when we are kids, perhaps when we were teased on the playground, or when reprimanded or praised by a teacher or parent. In all cultures, developing a self-image is a normal part of socialization. Problems arise, however, when that self-image is negative or inaccurate - or even overly positive. In fact, I have found that overly positive self-images can sometimes be MORE damaging (i.e. social elitism, religious self-righteousness, people that judge the judgers, people that forsake themselves for the so-called good of others, etc), because they hold the internal intention of thinking their way is better, while outwardly appearing nice, or thoughtful, or concerned. *Understand this: Ego serves you best when you make it serve you. The intention of ego is not to be your master, nor your enemy. Ego is to be your servant. Thats right...your ego is meant to serve you, not the other way around. When you understand this, then you will understand that the only person you are obligated to is yourself. This is not selfishness, this is simply working from the perspective of yourself as the nucleus of your own life. You are not to overlook yourself. You are not to relegate yourself to the end of the line. Your life on Earth counts as much as anyone else’s life on Earth. You have rights and privileges. You personally cannot fill everyone’s needs. Certainly, in one sense, you are servant to all the world. However, what service would you give to the world by putting everyone before you? You may choose to give up your life to save another. At the same time, you don’t have to. This is your choice. You are not obliged to give everyone what they may want at your own expense. You also have your life to live. Remember that your service is to the truth of who you are. Reserve some regard for yourself. You are not to consider yourself Selfless. You are also your own person. If you give all of yourself away, what is left of you? To consider yourself as self-sacrificing is an aggrandizement of ego. You do not have to be the most giving person in the world anymore than you have to be the most beautiful...or the wisest...or the most popular. You do not have to prove yourself to yourself. You do not have to prove your worth to yourself. There is nothing you have to prove to anyone, including yourself. There is a lot to be said for honesty but, first and foremost, be honest with yourself. If you have a sense that you are sacrificing, do not hesitate to give it up - and dont be concerned about what others think. In fact, you will often have to make...(uh, oh...here comes that word about which people have been sensitive lately...but Im going to say it anyway)...JUDGMENTS about people and situations that do not resonate with your principles and/or standards, and thats OK...we do it everyday anyway...even when wed like to believe that we dont. Be aware that ego likes to present itself in a lofty way. This makes ego feel empowered. Dont get me wrong...feeling empowered is great, and you can certainly feel good about a good deed, but just be honest with yourself. Are you giving to give? For self-aggrandizement? Or for tickets to Heaven. You are not here on Earth to gain points or to win a game. You are here for service (although not the one-dimensional perspective of service we often hold...but thats for another post). The service you give is meant to come from Love. Something is given in love, or its not. Service that is given to raise yourself in your own estimation isn’t giving. So, my challenge to you is to become unattached to your giving, and simply give as an expression and testament of who you are. Otherwise, you may be giving Fool’s Gold, and although Fool’s Gold is a metal that looks like real gold, it simply isn’t. YOU ARE THE REAL GOLD!
Posted on: Tue, 25 Nov 2014 02:41:30 +0000